A couple days ago, I wrote about a new book I had started reading called The Hunger Games. This afternoon I finished it. There are so many emotions running through me right now and I just need to get them out. I was going to make a video, but I fear I might cry and I'm not prepared to be that vulnerable on camera yet.
The protagonist of Hunger Games, Katniss, comes from a very poor neighbourhood. Most of the tributes (that's what the competitors are called) are underprivileged, so it's not weird that Katniss has very little. But, because the whole book is written from her point of view, you really get a sense of just how poor she is. Before the Games, she has to break the law every single day and risk being punished by death just to feed herself and her family. Of course, during the Games, how rich or poor you are really has no affect on your chances of surviving; even if you have all the food in the world back home, that isn't going to help you get food in that arena.
I don't know why, but the situation Katniss has pre-Games makes me really sad. I mean, I know none of it's real, but I also know that there are people all over the world, and as close as around the corner, who have it just as bad as Katniss did. I mean, in the book, she has to hunt for her food, and if she doesn't catch anything, she doesn't eat. That really makes me feel guilty when I think of how I can just go to the grocery store, give them a little piece of plastic, and get all the food I could ever want. It makes me feel even more guilty when I think about the times I've had to throw food out because it's gone bad, but there's easily someone out there who would kill for my moldy bread or mushy, brown bananas. And I know it's crazy, because I know there's nothing I can do about it. I mean, I can't stop eating and spending the money I have; that doesn't make any sense. Me not eating isn't going to put food in starving peoples' mouths. And, of course, I can't make food appear for these people. I can donate both my time and money to shelters and soup kitchens and such, and while that would help, it won't help everyone; that isn't really possible. I mean, people, and groups of people, with way more money and resources than me haven't been able to solve this problem, there isn't much I can do. I can help, but I can't fix it.
I know this is all really crazy, and I know this is all stemming from a fictional character in a fictitious book. Maybe I'm just going crazy, I don't know. But all day I've been having these weird thoughts and feelings and I needed to get them out somehow.
If you've ever had this kind of emotional reaction to a book or a movie or a song, let me know. It would really help to know I'm not alone in this!
love <3
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
The Hunger Games
Those of you who know me, know that reading and books are a huge part of my life. I remember the first time I went to the public library, when I was in grade 3 (about 8 years old) and I just went crazy! I couldn't understand the concept of being able to just pick whatever books you want, and take them home with you! Just take them! Libraries blew my mind at the point.
That was about the time that I really got into reading seriously. I would go to the library every two to three weeks with my mom, and usually get up to twenty books, and somehow I would manage to read them all! I guess eight-year-olds have a little more time on their hands than university students.
But even though I no longer have the time to read twenty books a month doesn't mean I don't have time to read at all. I love rereading books I've already read, which people think is weird, but the way I see it, if I loved the book the first time, why wouldn't I love it a second or third time? And if I wait long enough before rereading it, I forget most of the details, so it's not like I remember every little thing that happens. It's like rewatching movies: when you find a movie you love, you'll want to watch it more than once because you love it!
But I also adore finding new books, either by authors by whom I've already read something, or through recommendations from friends. This is how I stumbled upon The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins. Some people I know have read it, and I've heard only good things about it, so I decided to read it. I figured, if enough people thought it was good, it's bound to be pretty good. I was wrong. It's not pretty good; it's amazing! I only started it a couple days ago, but I'm already half way through, and I would probably finish it tonight if I didn't have school work to do.
The Hunger Games is set in an alternate society in what is referred to as formerly North America. In this society, at some time before the book starts, there was a war where a large number of the people died or were killed at the hands of the government. Now, every year, to remind people of the downsides of rebelling against the government, there is a competition called the Hunger Games. Twelve boys and twelve girls between the ages of twelve and eighteen are placed in a giant arena and it's basically a battle to the death, last person alive wins. The story is told from the point of view of a sixteen year old girl named Katniss who becomes on the competitors. So far it is an amazing book, I highly recommend it to anyone.
High: I had a really amazing weekend and I'm still living off the memories!
Low: I have a test tomorrow that I am not even a little bit ready for.
Thankful: for amazing books. :)
love <3
That was about the time that I really got into reading seriously. I would go to the library every two to three weeks with my mom, and usually get up to twenty books, and somehow I would manage to read them all! I guess eight-year-olds have a little more time on their hands than university students.
But even though I no longer have the time to read twenty books a month doesn't mean I don't have time to read at all. I love rereading books I've already read, which people think is weird, but the way I see it, if I loved the book the first time, why wouldn't I love it a second or third time? And if I wait long enough before rereading it, I forget most of the details, so it's not like I remember every little thing that happens. It's like rewatching movies: when you find a movie you love, you'll want to watch it more than once because you love it!
But I also adore finding new books, either by authors by whom I've already read something, or through recommendations from friends. This is how I stumbled upon The Hunger Games, by Suzanne Collins. Some people I know have read it, and I've heard only good things about it, so I decided to read it. I figured, if enough people thought it was good, it's bound to be pretty good. I was wrong. It's not pretty good; it's amazing! I only started it a couple days ago, but I'm already half way through, and I would probably finish it tonight if I didn't have school work to do.
The Hunger Games is set in an alternate society in what is referred to as formerly North America. In this society, at some time before the book starts, there was a war where a large number of the people died or were killed at the hands of the government. Now, every year, to remind people of the downsides of rebelling against the government, there is a competition called the Hunger Games. Twelve boys and twelve girls between the ages of twelve and eighteen are placed in a giant arena and it's basically a battle to the death, last person alive wins. The story is told from the point of view of a sixteen year old girl named Katniss who becomes on the competitors. So far it is an amazing book, I highly recommend it to anyone.
High: I had a really amazing weekend and I'm still living off the memories!
Low: I have a test tomorrow that I am not even a little bit ready for.
Thankful: for amazing books. :)
love <3
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Surprisingly Eventful
I've been wanting to post something for a few days now, and I would come to the New Post page, and just stare at the blinking cursor for...half an hour, then close the page and leave. I felt like I had nothing to really say, and that nothing has really happened lately. Which is ridiculous, because so much has happened! From just the most basic mundane things (starting another semester of school, starting my new job as a lifeguard/swimming instructor at my school's pool) to the slightly more exciting stuff (a new video on my youtube channel, plus the first week of our great new youtube collab channel) to the very exciting milestones (last Sunday was my 21st birthday, and it was a blast!! Let's just say there was a limo, some champagne, and an amazing amount of fun!).
Do you guys ever have weeks like that? Weeks where nothing really big or major has happened and you kind of feel like it has just been normal and unexciting and nothing has really happened, but then you look back on it and lots of things have happened! Maybe I'm not making any sense, or maybe you totally get what I'm saying. Either way, the last two and a half weeks had seemed rather uneventful to me (except for my birthday, of course!) but looking back on it...uneventful is not the right word at all.
I want to just go back to the new youtube project that I'm part of. I mentioned it way back in April, when I first knew that I was going to be involved in it, but now it's really happening. This past week was our first week of the channel. Basically, there's five of us and we each of our own assigned day of the week, from Monday to Friday (I'm Thursday). On our assigned day we post a video. Most weeks will probably have some sort of theme or something that ties all our videos together. It's really fun, because three of the girls (Olivia, Kourtney, and Sam) are from the US (Illinois, I think) and the other girl (Elle) is in London. It's really cool that we're all kind of far apart from each other. It's really fun getting to know each other. And, I mean, it would be really great if lots of other people watched our videos but, really, this is for us, and I think we'll keep doing it no matter how many subscribers we get. It's just a really fun exciting new aspect of my life and I'm really excited about it!
love <3
Do you guys ever have weeks like that? Weeks where nothing really big or major has happened and you kind of feel like it has just been normal and unexciting and nothing has really happened, but then you look back on it and lots of things have happened! Maybe I'm not making any sense, or maybe you totally get what I'm saying. Either way, the last two and a half weeks had seemed rather uneventful to me (except for my birthday, of course!) but looking back on it...uneventful is not the right word at all.
I want to just go back to the new youtube project that I'm part of. I mentioned it way back in April, when I first knew that I was going to be involved in it, but now it's really happening. This past week was our first week of the channel. Basically, there's five of us and we each of our own assigned day of the week, from Monday to Friday (I'm Thursday). On our assigned day we post a video. Most weeks will probably have some sort of theme or something that ties all our videos together. It's really fun, because three of the girls (Olivia, Kourtney, and Sam) are from the US (Illinois, I think) and the other girl (Elle) is in London. It's really cool that we're all kind of far apart from each other. It's really fun getting to know each other. And, I mean, it would be really great if lots of other people watched our videos but, really, this is for us, and I think we'll keep doing it no matter how many subscribers we get. It's just a really fun exciting new aspect of my life and I'm really excited about it!
love <3
Friday, January 7, 2011
Small, Uncomfortable Planes
I hate flying. No, wait… that is a huge lie. I love flying. I love that we have the ability to travel thousands of kilometers in a matter of hours. What I actually hate are airplanes, which is where I am at the moment. I am in the aisle seat, which is actually my preferred seat because I’m kind of claustrophobic. There’s an older woman beside me, in the middle seat, and she seems nice enough. There’s a guy, probably my age, in the window seat, he also seems like a nice guy. But, of course, the problem: the guy sitting in front of me reclined his seat back pretty much the second the seat belt sign was turned off. I have long legs, so my knees are digging into the back of his chair. I don’t know how it’s not making him uncomfortable, because it’s killing me. And then, there’s a little kid sitting behind me, and he occasionally kicks the back of my chair. It’s not so bad, but it sure as hell is not great. Plus, being in the aisle seat, my entire right arm keeps getting hit by flight attendants, people going to, or coming from, the bathroom, and the food cart. My funny bone hurts like hell, and my upper arm will probably be bruised for the next two and a half weeks. Perfect.
Plus, to top it all off, this isn’t exactly my favourite flight to be taking. I am flying back to school, after Christmas break, for the winter semester. Yay. I am just sooo happy to be starting another fourteen weeks of stressing myself out beyond belief over things that won’t even matter in six months. Super. I mean, it’s no secret that I think university is a huge waste of both time and money. Ah well, at least I am now more than half done my undergrad. I guess there really is a silver lining to this cloud.
--
--
It is now a couple days later and I've been back home and back at school for two days. Woopie. Actually, it hasn't been that bad. I've only had to sit through five hours of lectures in two days, which is more than tolerable. Plus, I've been planning my birthday party, which is very exciting. Maybe I'm a huge nerd, but it's my 21st birthday. I can't not have a party! I mean, turning 21 isn't as huge a deal in Canada as it is in the US and other countries, but it's still a milestone birthday, and it's still something that I'm really excited about celebrating. What kind of stuff have you guys done for your milestone birthdays?
High: two day week. 'Nuff said.
Low: I still haven't finished unpacking, and my room is kind of a huge, disastrous mess. Sweeeeeet.
Thankful: for being able to reconnect with my friends after break.
Since I started this blog, I've been counting how many books I've read over the year, and occasionally counting down to things I'm anticipating in the near future. But this year I want to try something different. So do you guys have any ideas for things I can count throughout the year? Let me know!
love <3
Friday, December 31, 2010
2010...What a Year!
As we wind down 2010, I really wanted to write something about what this year has meant to me. I don't even know where to start. I think I can safely say that 2010 has been the best year of my life, so far. When I look back on where I was this time last year, it is completely different from right now. In 2010, I started this blog (and kept with it for nine months!) which is certainly a first for me! I also started vlogging on youtube. I only started that a couple months ago, and I have few videos, but there will certainly be more to come in 2011! I also got involved with a new collab channel that is set to start mid-January (hopefully!). And that is just my Internet life!
This summer, I explored an entirely new part of Canada, somewhere I had never been before. I essentially moved to a new part of the country for three months to work at the most amazing job I ever could have asked for. The people I worked with are some of the greatest people I know, and I hope to stay friends with them for a very long time. I also met some amazing kids, campers that I will never forget, and who completely changed my life. Completely. I can't even explain the affect these campers had on me. I am a different, much more optimistic and happy person thanks to these girls, who did nothing other than be themselves for ten days.
I am also now living completely on my own for the first time (not with my parents or in residence). This is huge. Although I like to think of myself as an independent person, I've never had to do everything myself. When I lived at home, my mom would do the grocery shopping, cook the meals, and do the laundry. I helped out where I could, but none of it was ever my responsibility. When I started university, and lived in res, I was responsible for most things in my life--except food. I had a meal card, and went to the main dining hall for all my meals. I never had to cook any of my own meals, or do grocery shopping, or anything like that. Now, I have to budget my money, buy all my groceries, cook all my own meals, everything. I am completely, one hundred percent independent and responsible for everything in my life. And, you know, I couldn't be happier. I love living on my own! And now, when I come home (to my mom's house, where I grew up) it feels like a treat to have my mom cook meals for me, or do my laundry. I now truly appreciate everything she does for me.
All in all, 2010 has been amazing. I am the happiest I have been in as long as I can remember, and I legitimately don't think I have any complaints about 2010. Sitting here, right now, I seriously cannot think of a single thing I would change about 2010. Maybe I would add a boyfriend into the mix...but realistically, there isn't even anyone in my life right now who I would want as a boyfriend. That's how happy I am! I can only hope that 2011 is half as good as 2010 has been!
High: I got a whole lot of errands done today--it was a very productive day!
Low: I have zero plans for tonight, for the first time...ever. Sigh. This is what happens when all your friends are half way across the country!
Thankful: for the best year of my life!
Books read this year: ...I don't want to talk about it.
Days left at home: 5 (where did these three weeks go?!)
Happy New Year everybody! Hope you all had great 2010s, and that 2011 is all you could ask for, and more!
love<3
P.S. I am an idiot! I totally forgot that I wrote a 50,000 word novel in less than a month!! Talk about a huge accomplishment in my life!! The novel isn't quite finished yet, and I haven't even started editing, although I should probably get on that pretty soon. There are too many people in my life who want to read it for me to put it off any longer. But yea, I also wrote a novel this year!
This summer, I explored an entirely new part of Canada, somewhere I had never been before. I essentially moved to a new part of the country for three months to work at the most amazing job I ever could have asked for. The people I worked with are some of the greatest people I know, and I hope to stay friends with them for a very long time. I also met some amazing kids, campers that I will never forget, and who completely changed my life. Completely. I can't even explain the affect these campers had on me. I am a different, much more optimistic and happy person thanks to these girls, who did nothing other than be themselves for ten days.
I am also now living completely on my own for the first time (not with my parents or in residence). This is huge. Although I like to think of myself as an independent person, I've never had to do everything myself. When I lived at home, my mom would do the grocery shopping, cook the meals, and do the laundry. I helped out where I could, but none of it was ever my responsibility. When I started university, and lived in res, I was responsible for most things in my life--except food. I had a meal card, and went to the main dining hall for all my meals. I never had to cook any of my own meals, or do grocery shopping, or anything like that. Now, I have to budget my money, buy all my groceries, cook all my own meals, everything. I am completely, one hundred percent independent and responsible for everything in my life. And, you know, I couldn't be happier. I love living on my own! And now, when I come home (to my mom's house, where I grew up) it feels like a treat to have my mom cook meals for me, or do my laundry. I now truly appreciate everything she does for me.
All in all, 2010 has been amazing. I am the happiest I have been in as long as I can remember, and I legitimately don't think I have any complaints about 2010. Sitting here, right now, I seriously cannot think of a single thing I would change about 2010. Maybe I would add a boyfriend into the mix...but realistically, there isn't even anyone in my life right now who I would want as a boyfriend. That's how happy I am! I can only hope that 2011 is half as good as 2010 has been!
High: I got a whole lot of errands done today--it was a very productive day!
Low: I have zero plans for tonight, for the first time...ever. Sigh. This is what happens when all your friends are half way across the country!
Thankful: for the best year of my life!
Books read this year: ...I don't want to talk about it.
Days left at home: 5 (where did these three weeks go?!)
Happy New Year everybody! Hope you all had great 2010s, and that 2011 is all you could ask for, and more!
love<3
P.S. I am an idiot! I totally forgot that I wrote a 50,000 word novel in less than a month!! Talk about a huge accomplishment in my life!! The novel isn't quite finished yet, and I haven't even started editing, although I should probably get on that pretty soon. There are too many people in my life who want to read it for me to put it off any longer. But yea, I also wrote a novel this year!
Monday, December 20, 2010
Pure Relaxation :)
You know what the crazy thing about time is? It always moves forward! And it never stops!
OK, I know what you're saying: Um, duh! But you know how when you're anticipating something it seems like time slows down and takes four times longer than it should to happen? Or when you're dreading something, it happens that much sooner? Well, surprise, both things take the exact same amount of time! Case in point: I am done exams, and done the semester from hell. I am also home, in the house I grew up in, for three weeks for Christmas break.
I finished exams and flew home on Thursday (four days ago). And talk about a crazy day! I had my stats exam at 9 in the morning, and then my chem exam (my last exam!) at noon. That exam ended at 2:30, after which I had to run home, finish packing, finish cleaning my room, and then haul ass to the airport, because I had a flight that left at 5:30. Talk about a hectic day! How I didn't miss my flight is still a mystery to me. Of course, as soon as I sat down on that airplane...wow, what a great feeling of relief!
Since I got home, I have basically watched a lot of Christmas movies, lied around doing nothing, done some Christmas shopping and...not a whole heck of a lot else! And it just feels so great, after a terrible semester, to be able to lie around all day doing nothing, and not feel guilty about it! For my biggest stress to be Christmas shopping and not a damn thing else! I love no school. :)
High: today I finished all my shopping for my dad, and I only have a few things left to buy for my mom, and then I'm done!
Low: all the crowds and traffic today. It's the middle of the day on Monday! Don't people work anymore?!
Thankful: that I can buy some great gifts for the people I love. :)
Books read this year: 46 (I am so close to being done number 47! I've still got 11 days left!)
Days until Christmas: 5!
love <3
OK, I know what you're saying: Um, duh! But you know how when you're anticipating something it seems like time slows down and takes four times longer than it should to happen? Or when you're dreading something, it happens that much sooner? Well, surprise, both things take the exact same amount of time! Case in point: I am done exams, and done the semester from hell. I am also home, in the house I grew up in, for three weeks for Christmas break.
I finished exams and flew home on Thursday (four days ago). And talk about a crazy day! I had my stats exam at 9 in the morning, and then my chem exam (my last exam!) at noon. That exam ended at 2:30, after which I had to run home, finish packing, finish cleaning my room, and then haul ass to the airport, because I had a flight that left at 5:30. Talk about a hectic day! How I didn't miss my flight is still a mystery to me. Of course, as soon as I sat down on that airplane...wow, what a great feeling of relief!
Since I got home, I have basically watched a lot of Christmas movies, lied around doing nothing, done some Christmas shopping and...not a whole heck of a lot else! And it just feels so great, after a terrible semester, to be able to lie around all day doing nothing, and not feel guilty about it! For my biggest stress to be Christmas shopping and not a damn thing else! I love no school. :)
High: today I finished all my shopping for my dad, and I only have a few things left to buy for my mom, and then I'm done!
Low: all the crowds and traffic today. It's the middle of the day on Monday! Don't people work anymore?!
Thankful: that I can buy some great gifts for the people I love. :)
Books read this year: 46 (I am so close to being done number 47! I've still got 11 days left!)
Days until Christmas: 5!
love <3
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
No...More...Studies!
So you know when you've been working really hard at something, and it's been taking all your time and energy, and you've just been super stressed about it, and it feels like it's never going to end...but then it does? You know the feeling you get when you are finally finished with whatever has been stressing you out? That really calm feeling, like you have nothing to worry about anymore, and things are just going great in your life? Do you know what I'm talking about? Yea, I don't.
This morning I wrote my third of five exams. sjkehtiuawhytauegh. That's how I feel about exams. Especially because it seems like so many people I know are already done! I know that that means they probably had four exams in four days, or whatever, but still. That doesn't make me feel any better about only being just over half done!
In other news, I will be on an airplane, on my way home, in a mere 52 hours. Holy man, am I ever excited for that! It just does not feel right for it to be Christmas and to not be home. I mean, Christmas isn't for another 11 days, and I don't think I've actually missed anything yet, but I still want to go home, really badly.
Can you tell I'm procrastinating right now? I have two exams and two days left, but unfortunately...I'm kind of studied out. I don't want to study!! You can't make me!!! (I'm going...)
High: finally finishing math! (...for now)
Low: still have stats and chem left...yikes!
Thankful: that I'm going home in two days!
Books read this year: 46
Exams left until Christmas break: 2
Days until Christmas: 11
love <3
This morning I wrote my third of five exams. sjkehtiuawhytauegh. That's how I feel about exams. Especially because it seems like so many people I know are already done! I know that that means they probably had four exams in four days, or whatever, but still. That doesn't make me feel any better about only being just over half done!
In other news, I will be on an airplane, on my way home, in a mere 52 hours. Holy man, am I ever excited for that! It just does not feel right for it to be Christmas and to not be home. I mean, Christmas isn't for another 11 days, and I don't think I've actually missed anything yet, but I still want to go home, really badly.
Can you tell I'm procrastinating right now? I have two exams and two days left, but unfortunately...I'm kind of studied out. I don't want to study!! You can't make me!!! (I'm going...)
High: finally finishing math! (...for now)
Low: still have stats and chem left...yikes!
Thankful: that I'm going home in two days!
Books read this year: 46
Exams left until Christmas break: 2
Days until Christmas: 11
love <3
Thursday, December 9, 2010
What's the Point?
So if you're in university (or college) and you're currently writing exams, or if you just like surfing the internet, you've probably heard of the site likealittle.com. It's a site where people around campus post comments about other people they see around campus. I personally think it is the stupidest concept for a website ever. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think it's hilarious, and it's a decent way to procrastinate (as if I need any more of those!) but I know there are people out there who take this kind of stuff really seriously! I mean, how can people actually think that leaving a post on a random website about a guy or girl you see somewhere on campus who you think looks good will make any kind of difference about anything?! I guess I compare likealittle to sites like textsfromlastnight or fml, etc and I don't fully get how or why people take them so seriously.
A few hours ago I wrote my first final for this semester. It has organic chem, which is probably the final I was most worried about. I think it went decent, and either way, it's over now. This course is my one and only organic course, and hopefully my last chemistry course (other than the other chem course I'm doing this semester...but you know what I mean). Frankly, even if it wasn't the best exam I've ever written, at least it's over now and I don't have to worry about it anymore. Unfortunately, I have my second exam, biochem, tomorrow morning. I've spent the last few days almost entirely focused on organic chem and therefore have barely even started studying biochem. This is a very bad thing. So, of course, I am currently blogging and watching Gossip Girl. Because what else do you do when you have a 60% final in 13.5 hours and you've barely studied?!
OK, confession time: I hate studying, and I also really hate school. I mean, not just in the exam time way that everyone kind of resents school, but in the year-round hatred kind of way. I mean, when I was in high school and stuff and school was getting on my nerves, I would always think about why I was doing it, and what the point was, and that made it all worth it. But now...when I think about why I'm in university, I genuinely can't come up with an answer. I mean, I guess having a university degree is important, but, really...it's a dollar store piece of paper that I could probably print myself. It will either be framed, hung on my wall and otherwise forgotten about, or I'll just lose it. I guess these days, when I try to think about why I'm in school, I can't come up with a reason, and I've really been asking myself...is it worth it? I'm not so sure that it is.
High: organic chem is done!
Low: biochem in the morning...wish me luck!
Thankful: that one week right now I'll be on an airplane, more than halfway home!
Books read this year: 46
Exams left until Christmas break: 4
Days until Christmas: 16
love <3
A few hours ago I wrote my first final for this semester. It has organic chem, which is probably the final I was most worried about. I think it went decent, and either way, it's over now. This course is my one and only organic course, and hopefully my last chemistry course (other than the other chem course I'm doing this semester...but you know what I mean). Frankly, even if it wasn't the best exam I've ever written, at least it's over now and I don't have to worry about it anymore. Unfortunately, I have my second exam, biochem, tomorrow morning. I've spent the last few days almost entirely focused on organic chem and therefore have barely even started studying biochem. This is a very bad thing. So, of course, I am currently blogging and watching Gossip Girl. Because what else do you do when you have a 60% final in 13.5 hours and you've barely studied?!
OK, confession time: I hate studying, and I also really hate school. I mean, not just in the exam time way that everyone kind of resents school, but in the year-round hatred kind of way. I mean, when I was in high school and stuff and school was getting on my nerves, I would always think about why I was doing it, and what the point was, and that made it all worth it. But now...when I think about why I'm in university, I genuinely can't come up with an answer. I mean, I guess having a university degree is important, but, really...it's a dollar store piece of paper that I could probably print myself. It will either be framed, hung on my wall and otherwise forgotten about, or I'll just lose it. I guess these days, when I try to think about why I'm in school, I can't come up with a reason, and I've really been asking myself...is it worth it? I'm not so sure that it is.
High: organic chem is done!
Low: biochem in the morning...wish me luck!
Thankful: that one week right now I'll be on an airplane, more than halfway home!
Books read this year: 46
Exams left until Christmas break: 4
Days until Christmas: 16
love <3
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Feliz Navidad!
Hola, muchachos! Como esta?
(I don't speak Spanish...I'm just a faker)
How's it going, my friends? Tell me about your lives!
Things are going pretty good for me. Yesterday was the last day of classes for this semester, which makes me happier than you can imagine! Unfortunately that means that exams are going to start in a few days, but it also means that in twelve days I will be home, with my family, for Christmas!
Christmas is a really big deal for me. I mean, I know it's a really big deal for most people, but for me...I don't know, there's just something about it. I guess it's because I'm really close to my extended family, and the family friends that I consider family, but I don't really get to see them very often. I mean, for the last few years, I am rarely ever home, where I grew up, so when I do get to go home, like at Christmas, it's a really big deal. Like, I know that for pretty much every day of the three weeks that I'm home, I'll probably be doing something with my family, whether it's just my mom, or my whole extended family. I mean, going home is so much fun, and I love it, but relaxing? ...Not so much. Pretty much every single day will be go, go, go, which is great! But after exams, and a killer semester, all I really want to do is sleep a lot, relax, and get myself ready for the next semester. But, other than the ability to go to bed as early as I want and not have anyone make fun of me, there will be little to no time for relaxing.
I just reread what I wrote...wow, that was all over the place! Can you tell I'm multitasking?! But so is the life of a university student five days before the beginning of finals.
In other news, I am still posting vlogs on my youtube channel. They aren't happening as regularly as I would like, but I just put one up this week, and I think I'll film another tomorrow to post within the week. Make sure you guys check out my channel, watch my videos, and subscribe, if you want to!
High: in only 285 hours, I will be on an airplane, on my way home!
Low: this afternoon, I made a rough study schedule for the next 12 days, and I got the dates of two of my exams wrong, and forgot to schedule in when I have to work, so therefore had to redo the schedule twice. It was bad.
Thankful: 12 days, 12 days, 12 days!!!!!!!!
Books read this year: 45
Exams left until Christmas: 5
Days until Christmas: 21
love <3
(I don't speak Spanish...I'm just a faker)
How's it going, my friends? Tell me about your lives!
Things are going pretty good for me. Yesterday was the last day of classes for this semester, which makes me happier than you can imagine! Unfortunately that means that exams are going to start in a few days, but it also means that in twelve days I will be home, with my family, for Christmas!
Christmas is a really big deal for me. I mean, I know it's a really big deal for most people, but for me...I don't know, there's just something about it. I guess it's because I'm really close to my extended family, and the family friends that I consider family, but I don't really get to see them very often. I mean, for the last few years, I am rarely ever home, where I grew up, so when I do get to go home, like at Christmas, it's a really big deal. Like, I know that for pretty much every day of the three weeks that I'm home, I'll probably be doing something with my family, whether it's just my mom, or my whole extended family. I mean, going home is so much fun, and I love it, but relaxing? ...Not so much. Pretty much every single day will be go, go, go, which is great! But after exams, and a killer semester, all I really want to do is sleep a lot, relax, and get myself ready for the next semester. But, other than the ability to go to bed as early as I want and not have anyone make fun of me, there will be little to no time for relaxing.
I just reread what I wrote...wow, that was all over the place! Can you tell I'm multitasking?! But so is the life of a university student five days before the beginning of finals.
In other news, I am still posting vlogs on my youtube channel. They aren't happening as regularly as I would like, but I just put one up this week, and I think I'll film another tomorrow to post within the week. Make sure you guys check out my channel, watch my videos, and subscribe, if you want to!
High: in only 285 hours, I will be on an airplane, on my way home!
Low: this afternoon, I made a rough study schedule for the next 12 days, and I got the dates of two of my exams wrong, and forgot to schedule in when I have to work, so therefore had to redo the schedule twice. It was bad.
Thankful: 12 days, 12 days, 12 days!!!!!!!!
Books read this year: 45
Exams left until Christmas: 5
Days until Christmas: 21
love <3
Monday, November 29, 2010
An Author?!
So, you guys know how I was trying to write a 50,000 word novel is thirty days? Remember that time I went insane and thought I could write an entire novel in a month?
I WROTE A FREAKING NOVEL IN A MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy crap, I actually did it. I actually wrote an entire freaking novel! (Well, I didn't write an "entire" novel because my story isn't actually finished. Oddly enough, the story doesn't just come to a convenient end once 50,000 words are reached...who knew?!) I think I am actually in shock. I mean, I've known for a while that something really crazy would have to happen for me to not finish on time. But I guess part of me didn't think it would ever actually happen.
I actually can't believe this. I can now call myself an author. I'm an author!!! I am no longer someone who just writes for fun and would love to actually write something significant one day, but hasn't yet. I have now written something significant!! (And by significant, I mean significant to me, not to society. This novel is going to require a lot of editing before I let people read it...so don't even ask!)
In other news...I got a job as a lifeguard at the pool at my school (I think I mentioned that already) and Saturday was my first shift, but all I did was shadow some lessons. Tonight, I actually taught four of my own lessons and it was pretty exciting! Nerve-wracking, because I had to teach two lessons that I hadn't shadowed and I wasn't entirely sure what the kids were supposed to be learning, so it was a lot of improvising. But whatever, it worked out well!
High: that I finished my novel!!! And that I now have the best thing to brag about ever!
Low: I was supposed to get groceries this afternoon, but I worked and wrote a novel, so I didn't. But I still have an hour and twenty minutes until the grocery store closes...hmm.
Thankful: for NaNoWriMo: for giving me the chance, and the pressure, to finally write a novel!
Books read this year: 44
love <3
P.S. The bragging starts now:
I WROTE A FREAKING NOVEL IN A MONTH!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy crap, I actually did it. I actually wrote an entire freaking novel! (Well, I didn't write an "entire" novel because my story isn't actually finished. Oddly enough, the story doesn't just come to a convenient end once 50,000 words are reached...who knew?!) I think I am actually in shock. I mean, I've known for a while that something really crazy would have to happen for me to not finish on time. But I guess part of me didn't think it would ever actually happen.
I actually can't believe this. I can now call myself an author. I'm an author!!! I am no longer someone who just writes for fun and would love to actually write something significant one day, but hasn't yet. I have now written something significant!! (And by significant, I mean significant to me, not to society. This novel is going to require a lot of editing before I let people read it...so don't even ask!)
In other news...I got a job as a lifeguard at the pool at my school (I think I mentioned that already) and Saturday was my first shift, but all I did was shadow some lessons. Tonight, I actually taught four of my own lessons and it was pretty exciting! Nerve-wracking, because I had to teach two lessons that I hadn't shadowed and I wasn't entirely sure what the kids were supposed to be learning, so it was a lot of improvising. But whatever, it worked out well!
High: that I finished my novel!!! And that I now have the best thing to brag about ever!
Low: I was supposed to get groceries this afternoon, but I worked and wrote a novel, so I didn't. But I still have an hour and twenty minutes until the grocery store closes...hmm.
Thankful: for NaNoWriMo: for giving me the chance, and the pressure, to finally write a novel!
Books read this year: 44
love <3
P.S. The bragging starts now:
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
life :)
Hello my very lovely readers :) How are you? Good? How is your week going? It's hump day, the week is more than half over. If you're American, it's Thanksgiving. That's a fun way to get some time off.
Sorry I've been kind of MIA this month. Between school, NaNoWriMo, jobs, Deathly Hallows...well, you can imagine. While I sincerely want to write a full post, I have neither the time nor the energy to write full sentences, so I am going to pull a hayleyghoover and do this all point form:
High: that Christmas Eve is a month today, and it is finally close enough to Christmas for music and decorations to be completely acceptable.
Low: I just tried to register for my courses for the winter semester and, of course, it did not go as planned. What else is new?!
Thankful: for very encouraging friends and family :)
Books read this year: 42
love <3
P.S. I still don't have a title for my novel, so if anyone has any ideas, you can leave them in the comments. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you can go here for my post about a title, and here for an excerpt from my novel. Thanks!
Sorry I've been kind of MIA this month. Between school, NaNoWriMo, jobs, Deathly Hallows...well, you can imagine. While I sincerely want to write a full post, I have neither the time nor the energy to write full sentences, so I am going to pull a hayleyghoover and do this all point form:
- I am now just over 35000 words through my novel. I am a little bit behind schedule (I'm supposed to be at 40000 by today) but I had to take almost a week off from writing to do school (in one week I had four midterms, five assignments and a lab...I may have gone slightly crazy). I will, however, reach 50000 words by next Tuesday night; I refuse to lose!
- Harry Potter and Deathly Hallows Part 1 came out last week. I made a video about it here before I saw it, but then I went and saw it Saturday afternoon and I absolutely loved it. In my opinion, it was the best movie so far. I have very few complaints about it. I wish they had shown the part in the book, when they go see Xenophilius Lovegood, where they go into Luna's room and see all her paintings of them and that whole bit. I also kind of wish they had done the Portkey part of the Seven Potters, although that wasn't something that I really missed. All in all, an amazing movie!
- A couple days ago I got a job as a lifeguard/swim instructor at the pool at my school, and I'm pretty freaking excited about it! I have a few hours in the next three weeks, but I'm hoping to pick up a lot more next semester!
High: that Christmas Eve is a month today, and it is finally close enough to Christmas for music and decorations to be completely acceptable.
Low: I just tried to register for my courses for the winter semester and, of course, it did not go as planned. What else is new?!
Thankful: for very encouraging friends and family :)
Books read this year: 42
love <3
P.S. I still don't have a title for my novel, so if anyone has any ideas, you can leave them in the comments. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you can go here for my post about a title, and here for an excerpt from my novel. Thanks!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Title?!
Readers, I need your help! I am slightly over half done my novel and it needs a title! My novel is about a group of friends, and suddenly the main character, Paul, leaves, without telling anyone that he's going to leave or where he's going or why; the whole novel is written in the form of letters, that Paul is writing to his friends, and that they're writing to him, about the things that happen while he's gone.
So if anyone has any good ideas for a title for my novel, please let me know! I need some of your creative energy, my lovely readers! I believe in you!
High: realizing I only have three weeks left of classes!
Low: this coming week might be the worst week of my life: four midterms, four assignments, and a lab.
Thankful: for my novel. :)
Books read this year: 40
love <3
So if anyone has any good ideas for a title for my novel, please let me know! I need some of your creative energy, my lovely readers! I believe in you!
High: realizing I only have three weeks left of classes!
Low: this coming week might be the worst week of my life: four midterms, four assignments, and a lab.
Thankful: for my novel. :)
Books read this year: 40
love <3
Saturday, November 6, 2010
EXCERPT!!! ...and Being Self-Conscious
Hello lovely readers! How are your Saturday nights going? Mine's fairly decent. Of course, now I am being very antisocial by blogging...oops!
So, I've now been writing my NaNoWriMo novel for six days, and as of right now, I'm up to 17 774 words. I've been kind of less productive in the last couple of days. It's actually harder than I thought, to keep the plot going for so long! I didn't do any pre-planning before November first. I mean, I knew what my novel was going to be about, but I didn't really think about the plot or details about the characters or anything. I just kind of wanted to see what would happen. And at first, it was going really well, but now I'm almost two-fifths through my novel, and it's kind of getting boring. At least for me; it's kind of hard to think of what can keep happening to these characters to keep it interesting.
So I thought I would give you guys a little excerpt from my novel. Like I said earlier, it's all in letters, but hopefully it won't be too confusing. But first, I should just tell you guys that I basically never let other people read the stuff I write, because I'm super self-conscious about it. So if you like it, definitely let me know. And if you don't...keep your comments to yourself!*
High: spending the day with some really great friends and just having fun.
Low: I honestly don't think I have a low today. Sweet!
Thankful: for chocolate chip cookies! haha
Books read this year: 40
love <3
*I'm kidding...sort of. If you have some legit, constructive criticism, I'm totally open to that. But I don't really want to hear stuff like "this is so dumb, you're such a bad writer, just give up" because that is no fun.
So, I've now been writing my NaNoWriMo novel for six days, and as of right now, I'm up to 17 774 words. I've been kind of less productive in the last couple of days. It's actually harder than I thought, to keep the plot going for so long! I didn't do any pre-planning before November first. I mean, I knew what my novel was going to be about, but I didn't really think about the plot or details about the characters or anything. I just kind of wanted to see what would happen. And at first, it was going really well, but now I'm almost two-fifths through my novel, and it's kind of getting boring. At least for me; it's kind of hard to think of what can keep happening to these characters to keep it interesting.
So I thought I would give you guys a little excerpt from my novel. Like I said earlier, it's all in letters, but hopefully it won't be too confusing. But first, I should just tell you guys that I basically never let other people read the stuff I write, because I'm super self-conscious about it. So if you like it, definitely let me know. And if you don't...keep your comments to yourself!*
Dear Charli,
If you’re reading this…I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to leave. This is not my choice, at all. But this is just the way things have to be, for now. I sincerely hope you’ll forgive me and that we can still be friends. I’ll wait for your letter. No matter how long it takes, I’ll never stop waiting. Please don’t disappear from my life, even though I disappeared from yours. I can’t imagine my life without you.
Paul
Dear Paul,
I can’t believe you’re gone. I thought this was some kind of cruel joke. How could you not tell me you were leaving? Not even tell me it was a possibility?! I was so, so angry at you. You just left me in a lurch! And you made me look like an idiot! We’re best friends and you didn’t even tell me?! I had to lie to everyone, saying that I knew you were leaving and hadn’t told them because you’d asked me not to! Argh, I am so furious with you!!!
But I miss you. I miss you so, so very much. It’s so difficult not being able to talk to you every day. Come back? I know you can’t, but a girl can dream. Love you.
But I miss you. I miss you so, so very much. It’s so difficult not being able to talk to you every day. Come back? I know you can’t, but a girl can dream. Love you.
Charli
Dear Charli,
I miss you. My life just doesn’t make sense without you. I so wish you could come visit me, but that’s just not an option.
I’ve met some really nice people. No one compared to you, but people I can waste time with. Of course, I never stop thinking about you, ever, so what’s even the point?!
Hope life isn’t too hard for you, and that things have settled down a bit since I left. Tell them anything you need to not embarrass yourself. You have my permission to make any lies you need.
I’ve met some really nice people. No one compared to you, but people I can waste time with. Of course, I never stop thinking about you, ever, so what’s even the point?!
Hope life isn’t too hard for you, and that things have settled down a bit since I left. Tell them anything you need to not embarrass yourself. You have my permission to make any lies you need.
Paul
Dear Paul
I can’t come visit you? Why not? I can’t do this Paul!!! You just disappear to goodness knows where without telling a single person, I can’t call or email you and now I find out that visiting you isn’t even an option! I wish you would tell me what the hell was going on! God, you piss me off!
Stacey talked to me today. She doesn’t know what’s going on either. I mean, you obviously know that, because you didn’t tell her. How could you not tell your best friend or your girlfriend that you were leaving? You can’t just pick up and leave and not tell a single person. Your actions have repercussions Paul! You can’t just do what you want, when you want and think that nothing will change for anyone else. You frustrate me!
Love you
Stacey talked to me today. She doesn’t know what’s going on either. I mean, you obviously know that, because you didn’t tell her. How could you not tell your best friend or your girlfriend that you were leaving? You can’t just pick up and leave and not tell a single person. Your actions have repercussions Paul! You can’t just do what you want, when you want and think that nothing will change for anyone else. You frustrate me!
Love you
Charli
Dear Charli
You think that I don’t know that my actions have repercussions?! Are you kidding me, Charli? All I can think about since I left is how much this is affecting you and Stacey and John.. I should have left months ago, but I kept putting it off, in an attempt to not hurt you guys. Jeeze, Charli, do you really think I’m not that self-centered?
Life here kind of sucks. I don’t really get along with anyone, which is so unlike me. The people here just don’t get me, I hate it.
Life here kind of sucks. I don’t really get along with anyone, which is so unlike me. The people here just don’t get me, I hate it.
Paul
Dear Paul
I’m sorry. Obviously you know your actions have repercussions. I didn’t mean that. I was just upset.
So what’s going on with people not liking you? Everyone likes you. This town is falling apart without you. You were the glue that held everyone together. There is no one in the whole world who doesn’t like you, that’s just ridiculous.
Miss you
CharliSo what’s going on with people not liking you? Everyone likes you. This town is falling apart without you. You were the glue that held everyone together. There is no one in the whole world who doesn’t like you, that’s just ridiculous.
Miss you
High: spending the day with some really great friends and just having fun.
Low: I honestly don't think I have a low today. Sweet!
Thankful: for chocolate chip cookies! haha
Books read this year: 40
love <3
*I'm kidding...sort of. If you have some legit, constructive criticism, I'm totally open to that. But I don't really want to hear stuff like "this is so dumb, you're such a bad writer, just give up" because that is no fun.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
12000 say whats now?!
I am currently sitting in my stats lab (which is more than 100% useless...I don't know why I even bother to show up!) and I had every intention of working on my novel for an hour and a half (because I don't pay attention) but for some reason, Word on this computer won't open my NaNoWriMo file from my USB. I don't know why, but it sucks. Although it's not like I don't need a break...
Those of you who know me in real life and follow on Facebook and/or Twitter probably already know that I'm kind of ahead of schedule on my novel. To reach 50 000 words in 30 days at a normal pace, I should have about 5000 words by the end of the day. At noon today, I had 12 001 words.
I'm not really sure how this happened. I seriously had no intention of being such a keener and getting a fifth of my novel done in two days. I'm so lazy, I really don't know how this happened!
That's a lie, I do. My novel is written in the form of letters that people are writing back and forth to each other, so if I start getting writer's block, I just end that letter and have another character write a letter. It's unfortunately easy and extremely addicting. I'm kind of starting to love my characters as people, which is so stupid, because I made them up in my mind! Obviously I'll love them, I created them! I can do whatever I want with them!
This weirdly makes me feel like God. I mean, I created these characters exactly the way I wanted them and I control everything they are going to do, and have already done. Even if they "wanted" to do something differently (which obviously they can't because, unlike humans, they are not real and can't think for themselves) it would never succeed, because I already know how their future is going to go.
This might sound kind of ridiculous but just go with it: did you ever think that maybe God is like an author, who was just writing a novel, that somehow turned into real life? And that's why we're all here?
Yea, that was stupid. I'm sorry. I've clearly written too much in the last three days to make any sense anymore. I'll quit now while I'm still somewhat ahead.
High: when I hit 12000 words this morning. A single number has never made me so happy!
Low: at least half a dozen times in the last 24 hours, I have tried to spell the word "neither" with a G.* I don't know why.
Thankful: that I have some really great people encourageing me through my novel.
Books read this year: 40
love <3
*I almost pressed the G button as I was writing neither. I don't know what's wrong with me!
P.S. If you guys would like to read an excerpt from my novel, I could post one in my next blog post, as I don't have access to my novel on this computer. Let me know in the comments if you would want to read that!
Those of you who know me in real life and follow on Facebook and/or Twitter probably already know that I'm kind of ahead of schedule on my novel. To reach 50 000 words in 30 days at a normal pace, I should have about 5000 words by the end of the day. At noon today, I had 12 001 words.
I'm not really sure how this happened. I seriously had no intention of being such a keener and getting a fifth of my novel done in two days. I'm so lazy, I really don't know how this happened!
That's a lie, I do. My novel is written in the form of letters that people are writing back and forth to each other, so if I start getting writer's block, I just end that letter and have another character write a letter. It's unfortunately easy and extremely addicting. I'm kind of starting to love my characters as people, which is so stupid, because I made them up in my mind! Obviously I'll love them, I created them! I can do whatever I want with them!
This weirdly makes me feel like God. I mean, I created these characters exactly the way I wanted them and I control everything they are going to do, and have already done. Even if they "wanted" to do something differently (which obviously they can't because, unlike humans, they are not real and can't think for themselves) it would never succeed, because I already know how their future is going to go.
This might sound kind of ridiculous but just go with it: did you ever think that maybe God is like an author, who was just writing a novel, that somehow turned into real life? And that's why we're all here?
Yea, that was stupid. I'm sorry. I've clearly written too much in the last three days to make any sense anymore. I'll quit now while I'm still somewhat ahead.
High: when I hit 12000 words this morning. A single number has never made me so happy!
Low: at least half a dozen times in the last 24 hours, I have tried to spell the word "neither" with a G.* I don't know why.
Thankful: that I have some really great people encourageing me through my novel.
Books read this year: 40
love <3
*I almost pressed the G button as I was writing neither. I don't know what's wrong with me!
P.S. If you guys would like to read an excerpt from my novel, I could post one in my next blog post, as I don't have access to my novel on this computer. Let me know in the comments if you would want to read that!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
NaNoWriMo
So midnight tonight is the start of NaNoWriMo, also known as the beginning of my hibernation. For those of you who don't know what NaNoWriMo is, it is National Novel Writing Month, and basically the objective is to write 50 000 words in thirty days (I made a video about it here. Watch it and leave comments/video responses!).
I know I'm pretty crazy for attempting to do this. But I love writing, and I've been told I'm pretty good at it, so I figure, why not? It's something fun to do, and it's a good way to really set a goal and make myself write. Even if I don't get to 50 000 words, I can still say I tried, and I can still say I wrote however many words I get to. But, just so you guys know, I probably won't be blogging as much this next month, because I will be very busy writing a novel. I'll try to post sometimes, because if nothing else, it'll be good when I have writer's block, or I just need a break from my novel. If you guys could give me some encouragement throughout this month, as I do something really crazy, that would be great! You're all awesome!
High: I got to go to a friend's house for a really yummy supper and some great socializing with friends.
Low: it is seriously cold here! I mean, I know it's almost November, but still! It was kind of warm this week, but today felt like the middle of winter!
Thankful: that I have the time to attempt to write a novel!
Books read this year: 39 (I am less than 50 pages away from finishing number 40. NaNoWriMo will not be the reason I don't finish my book challenge!)
love <3
P.S. As I mentioned above, I have started vlogging as well! In this past week, I have posted two videos on youtube and I would really appreciate it if you guys checked them out, and left some comments or something. My channel is www.youtube.com/seanababy16 Thanks darlings!
I know I'm pretty crazy for attempting to do this. But I love writing, and I've been told I'm pretty good at it, so I figure, why not? It's something fun to do, and it's a good way to really set a goal and make myself write. Even if I don't get to 50 000 words, I can still say I tried, and I can still say I wrote however many words I get to. But, just so you guys know, I probably won't be blogging as much this next month, because I will be very busy writing a novel. I'll try to post sometimes, because if nothing else, it'll be good when I have writer's block, or I just need a break from my novel. If you guys could give me some encouragement throughout this month, as I do something really crazy, that would be great! You're all awesome!
High: I got to go to a friend's house for a really yummy supper and some great socializing with friends.
Low: it is seriously cold here! I mean, I know it's almost November, but still! It was kind of warm this week, but today felt like the middle of winter!
Thankful: that I have the time to attempt to write a novel!
Books read this year: 39 (I am less than 50 pages away from finishing number 40. NaNoWriMo will not be the reason I don't finish my book challenge!)
love <3
P.S. As I mentioned above, I have started vlogging as well! In this past week, I have posted two videos on youtube and I would really appreciate it if you guys checked them out, and left some comments or something. My channel is www.youtube.com/seanababy16 Thanks darlings!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Your Turn!
At the end of my last post, I asked you guys to leave a comment, telling me that you read my blog. It was mostly geared towards the people I actually know, although I would genuinely love to know if you stumbled upon this blog and continue to read it! (That sounded really awkward...hopefully you know what I mean!)
One thing I really don't want this blog to be about is just a day-to-day "and then I did this, and then I did this, and then this happened" type of thing, because that's kind of boring. My life isn't that exciting. I like having specific things to discuss in my blog, whether it's something in my life, something in the news, that kind of stuff. But I like being able to discuss things.
But not that many things happen in my life that I could discuss, and some of the things that happen, I think other people would find extremely boring. So now it's your turn. In the comments, I want you guys to tell me things you would like me to discuss or comment on in the near future. It could be anything, from my favourite TV shows, to how I feel about some issue in the news, to pretty much anything. Be creative, and tell me what you want to see. You guys are the ones reading this blog, not me, so I want to write about things that you want to read about! Leave a comment, I will try to use as many ideas as I can, though it might take a while to get through them.*
High: I went to the dollar store tonight and got almost all the pieces for my Halloween costume. It's going to be epic!
Low: I have a lot of school stuff this week (mid-terms, assignments, labs, quizzes) and it's kind of stressing me out.
Thankful: that we're getting a new fridge tomorrow, because ours currently isn't working!
Books read this year: 39 (I'm starting to get nervous I won't get to 50, especially with NaNoWriMo starting next week!)
love <3
*This sentence totally makes it sound like I think there's going to be hundreds of suggestions, which I highly doubt, as I think...six people read this blog. I just meant that I'm busy, and don't have time to blog every day.
One thing I really don't want this blog to be about is just a day-to-day "and then I did this, and then I did this, and then this happened" type of thing, because that's kind of boring. My life isn't that exciting. I like having specific things to discuss in my blog, whether it's something in my life, something in the news, that kind of stuff. But I like being able to discuss things.
But not that many things happen in my life that I could discuss, and some of the things that happen, I think other people would find extremely boring. So now it's your turn. In the comments, I want you guys to tell me things you would like me to discuss or comment on in the near future. It could be anything, from my favourite TV shows, to how I feel about some issue in the news, to pretty much anything. Be creative, and tell me what you want to see. You guys are the ones reading this blog, not me, so I want to write about things that you want to read about! Leave a comment, I will try to use as many ideas as I can, though it might take a while to get through them.*
High: I went to the dollar store tonight and got almost all the pieces for my Halloween costume. It's going to be epic!
Low: I have a lot of school stuff this week (mid-terms, assignments, labs, quizzes) and it's kind of stressing me out.
Thankful: that we're getting a new fridge tomorrow, because ours currently isn't working!
Books read this year: 39 (I'm starting to get nervous I won't get to 50, especially with NaNoWriMo starting next week!)
love <3
*This sentence totally makes it sound like I think there's going to be hundreds of suggestions, which I highly doubt, as I think...six people read this blog. I just meant that I'm busy, and don't have time to blog every day.
Friday, October 22, 2010
On Happiness...and Babbling
I'm really happy right now. Like, really happy. This might not be a really big deal for most people: there's lots of people all over the world who are really happy on a regular basis. But I've never really been that unfortunate. Okay, that made it sound like I've had a really hard life. It hasn't actually been that bad. From when I was eleven until I was about 18 was probably the hardest time; a lot of not so fun stuff happened then; I won't get into it now. But if you really want to know, just ask! I don't mind. :)
Anyway...the very boring story of teenage angst is so not the point of this post. The point is...I'm happy. I've previously mentioned that this past summer, while working at camp, was possibly the happiest time of my life, and this still remains true. I can't talk about camp without a feeling of complete joy and love filling up my chest. However, towards the end of the summer, I was quite concerned that that happiness would disappear when camp was over: when I had to return to the "real world", to school, to my real life, that I would not be as happy; that I would almost get kind of depressed, from missing camp, and almost from "real world shock".* But, very fortunately, that is not what happened at all. I mean, at first I was really upset about camp being over, but it didn't last very long, and although I miss everyone I worked with so much that it sometimes hurts, and even though I would go back in a heart beat, I'm not in withdrawl and I'm totally not depressed about camp.
I kind of just went off on a little bit of a tangent...The point is, camp ended almost two months ago, and I'm still really happy. This makes me think that, although camp was the initial source of my happiness, it's not the reason for my happiness. If it was all camp, and only camp, that happiness would now be long gone. But it's not. I'm still really happy, two months later, and I really don't think there's anything else that could have caused this: it's all left over from camp.
I feel like I just babbled a lot about nothing. I'm sorry. If you actually read all of that, I'm kind of impressed. I guess there's people out there who really care about what I have to say. Huh. Who'da thunk it.
High: earlier this afternoon, I decided to make cookies, but after I'd mixed up all the ingredients, I decided that I didn't really have the patience to bake it. So I saved it as cookie dough, to eat...as cookie dough. :)
Low: I went to the bank to inquire about getting a credit card, and I found out I need to have a job to get a credit card. Ew. Also, I love cooking with onions, but I hate cutting them. This is a huge problem.
Thankful: that it's the weekend. I have some serious studying to do for next week.
Books read this year: 39
love <3
P.S. If you read this, and you're someone I actually know in real life, leave a comment! Even if it just says that you read it, and that's all, that's so fine by me! I love finding out when people I know actually take the time to read what I have to say. I makes me feel like I'm not just talking to myself on the Internet. So let me know if you're reading this! (Of course, even if you don't know me in real life, and you just found my blog and decided to read it, you can still comment, telling me you read it. I'm actually so curious how many readers I have!)
*Camp is like a bubble. For pretty much the entire summer, I had no idea what was going on pretty much anywhere in the world. It was just camp, with all the same counsellors, for three months. The campers changed every 12 days, but other than that, it really was like being in a completely oblivious bubble for three months.
Anyway...the very boring story of teenage angst is so not the point of this post. The point is...I'm happy. I've previously mentioned that this past summer, while working at camp, was possibly the happiest time of my life, and this still remains true. I can't talk about camp without a feeling of complete joy and love filling up my chest. However, towards the end of the summer, I was quite concerned that that happiness would disappear when camp was over: when I had to return to the "real world", to school, to my real life, that I would not be as happy; that I would almost get kind of depressed, from missing camp, and almost from "real world shock".* But, very fortunately, that is not what happened at all. I mean, at first I was really upset about camp being over, but it didn't last very long, and although I miss everyone I worked with so much that it sometimes hurts, and even though I would go back in a heart beat, I'm not in withdrawl and I'm totally not depressed about camp.
I kind of just went off on a little bit of a tangent...The point is, camp ended almost two months ago, and I'm still really happy. This makes me think that, although camp was the initial source of my happiness, it's not the reason for my happiness. If it was all camp, and only camp, that happiness would now be long gone. But it's not. I'm still really happy, two months later, and I really don't think there's anything else that could have caused this: it's all left over from camp.
I feel like I just babbled a lot about nothing. I'm sorry. If you actually read all of that, I'm kind of impressed. I guess there's people out there who really care about what I have to say. Huh. Who'da thunk it.
High: earlier this afternoon, I decided to make cookies, but after I'd mixed up all the ingredients, I decided that I didn't really have the patience to bake it. So I saved it as cookie dough, to eat...as cookie dough. :)
Low: I went to the bank to inquire about getting a credit card, and I found out I need to have a job to get a credit card. Ew. Also, I love cooking with onions, but I hate cutting them. This is a huge problem.
Thankful: that it's the weekend. I have some serious studying to do for next week.
Books read this year: 39
love <3
P.S. If you read this, and you're someone I actually know in real life, leave a comment! Even if it just says that you read it, and that's all, that's so fine by me! I love finding out when people I know actually take the time to read what I have to say. I makes me feel like I'm not just talking to myself on the Internet. So let me know if you're reading this! (Of course, even if you don't know me in real life, and you just found my blog and decided to read it, you can still comment, telling me you read it. I'm actually so curious how many readers I have!)
*Camp is like a bubble. For pretty much the entire summer, I had no idea what was going on pretty much anywhere in the world. It was just camp, with all the same counsellors, for three months. The campers changed every 12 days, but other than that, it really was like being in a completely oblivious bubble for three months.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Christmas and cookie dough :)
I have a chemistry test the day after tomorrow. I'm supposed to be studying for it right now. I don't really want to study, so instead I'm going to write a blog! Yay!
When I started writing this blog back in April, I kind of made a pact with myself. I know that sounds kind of lame, but there were certain things I wanted for this blog (and I certain things I definitely didn't want) and I wanted to try and keep myself on track with those things. One of the things in my pact was that I would not whine about school. I know I kind of did that way back near the beginning, but that was because it was right in the middle of final exams, and also because I was doing BEDA and some days, there really was nothing else to say. But now that I have no need to blog every day, I can blog when I want, I don't really want to use that time and those words to whine about school. I do that enough in the real world, and really, no one wants to listen to some girl complain about school when there are so many bigger problems in the world (not that me not whining about school is going to solve world hunger or anything, but you get my drift). So I guess where I'm going with this is I want to apologize for yesterday. I'm trying to deal with some things in my personal life right now, and a lot of them center around me trying to understand the point of school. I guess I just have some friends who see school as the most important thing in the world and they put everything else above it. That's just not what I believe and not how I want to live my life. It was just really getting on my nerves and it all kind of exploded last night. So for that, I am sorry.
Now that I'm done rambling on about school...on to new things! So Christmas is my favourite time of the entire year. No, I lied. My actual favourite time of the year is from November 12 to January 16, because all the good things happen during those two months: my mom's birthday is November 12, and then it starts getting closer to Christmas, and then it's time to decorate, and listen to/sing Christmas music, then it usually snows, then exams are over, then I get to go home, celebrate Christmakkuh with some family, then it's Christmas, which I love more than words can describe, then it's the week between Christmas and New Year's, when I get to see most of my extended family and play in the snow, a lot. Then it's New Year's, and then January 16 is my birthday. See? All the good things happen during those two months. Anyway, I know Christmas is over two months away (68 days, actually. I just counted) but for some reason, I've been feeling really excited and Christmasy lately. Which is really out of character for me, because I really hate when things start getting all set for Christmas too early. Like, one of my biggest pet peeves is when people have their Christmas lights on the day after Halloween and you can see their Christmas tree in their window. Just because it's November doesn't mean it's suddenly, automatically Christmas and that it's acceptable to have that many lights and decorations up. My reaction to people getting ready for Christmas so early is kind of surprising, especially to me, because I love Christmas so much and you would think I'd be all ready to start getting into the spirit as early as I can. I think the reason I hate it coming too early is because I love it so much and I don't want to ruin it by getting sick of it before it even really happens. Does that make any sense? I just love Christmas way more than is probably appropriate, but I don't see that there's a problem with that. Do you?
So lately I've kind of been think about some of my favourite childhood memories, like spending every summer and every weekend during the winter at my cottage; playing the most random make-believe games by myself because I have no siblings; wishing I was the third Olsen twin, stuff like that. So I wanted to ask you guys: what are some of your favourite childhood memories? Let me know in the comments!
High: I went grocery shopping today and (almost) bought premade cookie dough. Not to bake, but to just eat, as cookie dough.
Low: as much as I wanted the cookie dough, I couldn't afford to buy it when I didn't really need it.
Thankful: that I have all the ingredients in my house to make cookie dough, should I so desire.
(I have no idea where are this talk of cookie dough came from, but now I really want to go make some.)
Books read this year: 39 (I'm so close! I hope I can do it!)
love <3
When I started writing this blog back in April, I kind of made a pact with myself. I know that sounds kind of lame, but there were certain things I wanted for this blog (and I certain things I definitely didn't want) and I wanted to try and keep myself on track with those things. One of the things in my pact was that I would not whine about school. I know I kind of did that way back near the beginning, but that was because it was right in the middle of final exams, and also because I was doing BEDA and some days, there really was nothing else to say. But now that I have no need to blog every day, I can blog when I want, I don't really want to use that time and those words to whine about school. I do that enough in the real world, and really, no one wants to listen to some girl complain about school when there are so many bigger problems in the world (not that me not whining about school is going to solve world hunger or anything, but you get my drift). So I guess where I'm going with this is I want to apologize for yesterday. I'm trying to deal with some things in my personal life right now, and a lot of them center around me trying to understand the point of school. I guess I just have some friends who see school as the most important thing in the world and they put everything else above it. That's just not what I believe and not how I want to live my life. It was just really getting on my nerves and it all kind of exploded last night. So for that, I am sorry.
Now that I'm done rambling on about school...on to new things! So Christmas is my favourite time of the entire year. No, I lied. My actual favourite time of the year is from November 12 to January 16, because all the good things happen during those two months: my mom's birthday is November 12, and then it starts getting closer to Christmas, and then it's time to decorate, and listen to/sing Christmas music, then it usually snows, then exams are over, then I get to go home, celebrate Christmakkuh with some family, then it's Christmas, which I love more than words can describe, then it's the week between Christmas and New Year's, when I get to see most of my extended family and play in the snow, a lot. Then it's New Year's, and then January 16 is my birthday. See? All the good things happen during those two months. Anyway, I know Christmas is over two months away (68 days, actually. I just counted) but for some reason, I've been feeling really excited and Christmasy lately. Which is really out of character for me, because I really hate when things start getting all set for Christmas too early. Like, one of my biggest pet peeves is when people have their Christmas lights on the day after Halloween and you can see their Christmas tree in their window. Just because it's November doesn't mean it's suddenly, automatically Christmas and that it's acceptable to have that many lights and decorations up. My reaction to people getting ready for Christmas so early is kind of surprising, especially to me, because I love Christmas so much and you would think I'd be all ready to start getting into the spirit as early as I can. I think the reason I hate it coming too early is because I love it so much and I don't want to ruin it by getting sick of it before it even really happens. Does that make any sense? I just love Christmas way more than is probably appropriate, but I don't see that there's a problem with that. Do you?
So lately I've kind of been think about some of my favourite childhood memories, like spending every summer and every weekend during the winter at my cottage; playing the most random make-believe games by myself because I have no siblings; wishing I was the third Olsen twin, stuff like that. So I wanted to ask you guys: what are some of your favourite childhood memories? Let me know in the comments!
High: I went grocery shopping today and (almost) bought premade cookie dough. Not to bake, but to just eat, as cookie dough.
Low: as much as I wanted the cookie dough, I couldn't afford to buy it when I didn't really need it.
Thankful: that I have all the ingredients in my house to make cookie dough, should I so desire.
(I have no idea where are this talk of cookie dough came from, but now I really want to go make some.)
Books read this year: 39 (I'm so close! I hope I can do it!)
love <3
Sunday, October 17, 2010
friends are forever
Sleepovers: nails, makeup, hair, pictures, movies, popcorn. Sleepovers were my childhood. I loved going over to someone's house with a couple other friends and just hanging out for the night. Sleepovers were the highlight of my week, sometimes of my entire month. Last night, I had the first girl-y sleepover since I don't even know when.
One of my really good friends, Sam, come over last night, just after 6. We made supper, talked, hung out, had a few drinks, laughed about things that were not really very funny this morning, took silly pictures and just had a genuinely good time. We ended the night by watching High School Musical 3 (I love HSM. Don't judge) for the sole reason that she had never seen it. Then we curled up in bed and talked for a while, before finally falling asleep much earlier than we probably would have otherwise. This morning, we made breakfast (I had Toaster Strudels for the first time. It was epic), hung out, watched silly youtube videos (I cannot get this song out of my head! And this one's pretty catchy as well.) and just had some fun girl time. It might have been one of my best Saturday nights recently.
I think the reason I had so much fun was that I haven't really been spending that much time with my good friends since I've been back. I mean, I either only see them every two or three weeks, or, if I see them even once or twice a week, there's always lots of other people around and I don't really get to spend any real time with them. I have some really amazing people in my life that I consider good friends and I hate that I don't really ever get to see them, because they are so important to me. And I know I'm here for school, not for socializing, but I can't spend my entire five years of university not socializing at all! I mean, I know school's important, but it's not that important. Really, I just want to get my degree, graduate, and be done. I don't plan on applying to do my masters or anything like that. I might do a year or two of college, so that I can learn something that will actually get me a job, but other than that, once I'm done this degree, I'm done school for good. So, although marks are important, they aren't that important. I care, but I don't let school completely rule my life.
I just went off on a huge tangent, and I apologize. I know for some people, school and marks are really important, and not being at the top of their class isn't acceptable. But that's just not me. I'll do my best, and if my best only gets me a C or a B, well so be it. I don't even know what my GPA is and I don't care. Why does it matter? I'm actually serious: why does it matter what my GPA is?
That was not what this post was supposed to be about. It was supposed to be about how much I love my friends and how sad I am that I don't get to spend enough time with them, because they are all so amazing. So, from now on, friends come before school...to a certain extent. I'm not going to stop going to class and doing work, but if a friend needs me, or something comes up, or one of my friends that I've barely seen is around, I will make time. School will be over, but friends should be around forever. My friends are what matters to me, and I will do everything I can to make time for them in my life.
High: watching HSM3 with Sam. Love the movie, love the girl.
Low: I messed up my ankle Friday night and it's still swollen and kind of sore. But I can at least walk on it today, which is more than I could do yesterday.
Thankful: that I have such amazing friends in my life, who will always be there.
Books read this year: 39
love <3
One of my really good friends, Sam, come over last night, just after 6. We made supper, talked, hung out, had a few drinks, laughed about things that were not really very funny this morning, took silly pictures and just had a genuinely good time. We ended the night by watching High School Musical 3 (I love HSM. Don't judge) for the sole reason that she had never seen it. Then we curled up in bed and talked for a while, before finally falling asleep much earlier than we probably would have otherwise. This morning, we made breakfast (I had Toaster Strudels for the first time. It was epic), hung out, watched silly youtube videos (I cannot get this song out of my head! And this one's pretty catchy as well.) and just had some fun girl time. It might have been one of my best Saturday nights recently.
I think the reason I had so much fun was that I haven't really been spending that much time with my good friends since I've been back. I mean, I either only see them every two or three weeks, or, if I see them even once or twice a week, there's always lots of other people around and I don't really get to spend any real time with them. I have some really amazing people in my life that I consider good friends and I hate that I don't really ever get to see them, because they are so important to me. And I know I'm here for school, not for socializing, but I can't spend my entire five years of university not socializing at all! I mean, I know school's important, but it's not that important. Really, I just want to get my degree, graduate, and be done. I don't plan on applying to do my masters or anything like that. I might do a year or two of college, so that I can learn something that will actually get me a job, but other than that, once I'm done this degree, I'm done school for good. So, although marks are important, they aren't that important. I care, but I don't let school completely rule my life.
I just went off on a huge tangent, and I apologize. I know for some people, school and marks are really important, and not being at the top of their class isn't acceptable. But that's just not me. I'll do my best, and if my best only gets me a C or a B, well so be it. I don't even know what my GPA is and I don't care. Why does it matter? I'm actually serious: why does it matter what my GPA is?
That was not what this post was supposed to be about. It was supposed to be about how much I love my friends and how sad I am that I don't get to spend enough time with them, because they are all so amazing. So, from now on, friends come before school...to a certain extent. I'm not going to stop going to class and doing work, but if a friend needs me, or something comes up, or one of my friends that I've barely seen is around, I will make time. School will be over, but friends should be around forever. My friends are what matters to me, and I will do everything I can to make time for them in my life.
High: watching HSM3 with Sam. Love the movie, love the girl.
Low: I messed up my ankle Friday night and it's still swollen and kind of sore. But I can at least walk on it today, which is more than I could do yesterday.
Thankful: that I have such amazing friends in my life, who will always be there.
Books read this year: 39
love <3
Sunday, October 3, 2010
six month anniversary!
Today is the six-month anniversary of my blog! How exciting is that?! I can't believe how quickly the last six months have gone by! I realize I say that about pretty much everything, but it's true! So for today's post, which I want to kind of be special and a big deal, I am going to list my favourite parts of the last six months! People who have been reading this for the last six months can probably already guess what a lot of these are going to be, but maybe not! I'm going to try to keep these in order of when they happened, but I have a bad memory, plus I'm kind of ADD, so they'll probably all be pretty random. Here goes:
High: getting a free lunch at church today. It was for young adults and it was yummy!
Low: we don't have cable at our house, so I can't watch either Desperate Housewives or The Amazing Race tonight, I have to wait until it comes online. What a hard life I lead. lol
Thankful: for the very unseasonal, yet amazing weather we've had for the last couple days. It's like summer, again...in October...
Books read this year: 38
love <3
- finishing my second year of university!
- Hedley concert just hours after finishing my last exam!
- BEDA...even though I kind of failed at the end
- home for a month!
- driving 1600km in two days with someone who I normally have pretty much nothing to say to.
- CAMP! I don't even know how to describe this summer, there are way too many memorable and amazing things that happened this summer, it would take forever for me to try and describe just how awesomely perfect this summer was. Here is the best way for me to do it: Shine, Tiffany, I'yonna, Savannah, Kourtnie, Calli; Whisper, Kisha, Sam, Taylor, Adrianna, BJ, Emily, Anna, Marisha; Oups, Sarah, Elodie, Erika, Noamie, Jennifer, Armine, Marcella; Gooby, Cassielle, Carol-Ann, Kelsey, Allison, Elona, Saada, Yvette, Gabrielle; Sage, Alyssa, Megan W, Megan M, Brianna, Minjo, Jasmin, Blair, Hadeya; Buzz, Alicia, Katie, Erin, LaKeisha, Brianna, Valynn, Amber, Nykeala; Feather, Drew, Hailey, Chloe, Alexis, Jenna, Jazmen, Tori, Jessica, and Josee. These are my campers from this summer, plus the counsellor that I worked with for that session. Every single one of these girls is simply amazing and they have each had an impact on my life, whether big or small. They all hold a place in my heart and I will always love them, forever.
- Halifax for Canada Day with Buzz, Shiver, Kowabunga, Shine, Oups, Captain, and Tic Tac.
- getting to see my mama in Halifax for a weekend in August.
- meeting and spending three months with some really amazing people who I hope I will be friends with for a very long time.
- being in denial about leaving camp-wasn't so fun for me, but it certainly gave the other counsellors something to laugh about.
- going to my aunt and uncle's cottage for a night, and discovering that fall had hit Ontario very early!
- going to my annual Blue Jays game on Labour Day weekend with my mama, and the Jays winning (of course!)
- coming back to Newfoundland for my third (of many) years at MUN.
- moving out, completely on my own, for the first time and being rather scared.
- MUNCF fall retreat 2010...oh the awkwardness...lol
High: getting a free lunch at church today. It was for young adults and it was yummy!
Low: we don't have cable at our house, so I can't watch either Desperate Housewives or The Amazing Race tonight, I have to wait until it comes online. What a hard life I lead. lol
Thankful: for the very unseasonal, yet amazing weather we've had for the last couple days. It's like summer, again...in October...
Books read this year: 38
love <3
Sunday, September 26, 2010
single ladies club
So I had just a really, really amazing weekend. I went away for the weekend, on a retreat, with the Christian Fellowship at my school. I really couldn't afford to go, both money-wise and time-wise. But my mom lent me some money to go, and school...still sucks, and this week will still kill me, but I don't think it'll be that bad anymore.
I love going on the retreats. I always feel like I get so much closer to God when I'm out there, and I'm not sure why. It might be because I spend two and a half days with a bunch of other Christians and it's hard to not get closer when you're with that many people who have the same beliefs. It might be because, getting out of the city and away from all the distractions just clears my mind and lets me focus on the things that are actually important in my life in the long run, not the short term stuff, like school and Facebook drama, and going downtown and just stupid stuff. As I have been raised Christian my entire life, it's a huge part of who I am and I want to be an equally huge part of who I will be for the rest of my life. I've struggled a lot with God and how I really feel about all of it, mostly in the last 7-10 years. I've gone through a lot of hard stuff, and there was always this voice in my mind, telling me that the God of the Bible would not let me suffer the way I was. I realize now that that is completely false, and all the stuff I went through has made me exactly who I am today.
At the retreat, the focus of the weekend was the book Song of Solomon. For those of you who don't know, this very short book is about Solomon, the king, finding a woman he wants to marry. It details their "dating", the wedding day (and night) and their marriage. It was a good book to study, although most of the people on the retreat were not in relationships, which made discussions very short. But it made me realize something: I'm happy being single. I've been single for a while, and for some reason it always felt like I was missing out. I would talk to my friends who were in relationshops and they were always so happy and things were always going so well and part of me was always jealous, at least a little bit. I would always wonder why I couldn't have that same happiness with someone. Was there something wrong with me? Was I destined to be single forever? These kinds of thoughts actually took up way too much space in my mind. But I realized this weekend that, you know what, I am single right now. But I'm happy! Since this summer, I've been the happiest I think I've ever been. I miss camp with ever fibre of my being, but instead of going into intense withdrawl and getting depressed, I've taken the happiness from the summer and brought it into my real life. I am so genuinely happy now, and I love it. Friends from school, who didn't see me all summer, have commented that I seem like a completely different person than I was back in the spring. And I know that the only real change is that now I'm happy!
High: the whole weekend: mostly bonding with the other people and forming deeper friendships that will last.
Low: I actually don't think I have a low...maybe doing laundry today: it has taken approximately seven hours. Yikes!
Thankful: for the chance to spend the weekend away and grow as a person.
Books read this year: 37
love <3
I love going on the retreats. I always feel like I get so much closer to God when I'm out there, and I'm not sure why. It might be because I spend two and a half days with a bunch of other Christians and it's hard to not get closer when you're with that many people who have the same beliefs. It might be because, getting out of the city and away from all the distractions just clears my mind and lets me focus on the things that are actually important in my life in the long run, not the short term stuff, like school and Facebook drama, and going downtown and just stupid stuff. As I have been raised Christian my entire life, it's a huge part of who I am and I want to be an equally huge part of who I will be for the rest of my life. I've struggled a lot with God and how I really feel about all of it, mostly in the last 7-10 years. I've gone through a lot of hard stuff, and there was always this voice in my mind, telling me that the God of the Bible would not let me suffer the way I was. I realize now that that is completely false, and all the stuff I went through has made me exactly who I am today.
At the retreat, the focus of the weekend was the book Song of Solomon. For those of you who don't know, this very short book is about Solomon, the king, finding a woman he wants to marry. It details their "dating", the wedding day (and night) and their marriage. It was a good book to study, although most of the people on the retreat were not in relationships, which made discussions very short. But it made me realize something: I'm happy being single. I've been single for a while, and for some reason it always felt like I was missing out. I would talk to my friends who were in relationshops and they were always so happy and things were always going so well and part of me was always jealous, at least a little bit. I would always wonder why I couldn't have that same happiness with someone. Was there something wrong with me? Was I destined to be single forever? These kinds of thoughts actually took up way too much space in my mind. But I realized this weekend that, you know what, I am single right now. But I'm happy! Since this summer, I've been the happiest I think I've ever been. I miss camp with ever fibre of my being, but instead of going into intense withdrawl and getting depressed, I've taken the happiness from the summer and brought it into my real life. I am so genuinely happy now, and I love it. Friends from school, who didn't see me all summer, have commented that I seem like a completely different person than I was back in the spring. And I know that the only real change is that now I'm happy!
High: the whole weekend: mostly bonding with the other people and forming deeper friendships that will last.
Low: I actually don't think I have a low...maybe doing laundry today: it has taken approximately seven hours. Yikes!
Thankful: for the chance to spend the weekend away and grow as a person.
Books read this year: 37
love <3
Thursday, September 16, 2010
61!
So, I don't know if anyone was paying attention, but if you were, you might have noticed that I just posted three blogs within an hour. I wish I could say it was because I'm just the most amazing blogger ever, and I can just sit at my desk and these amazing thoughts just flow from the tips of my fingers and onto the keyboard. Yea, I wish. Actually, what happened was that we didn't have Internet at our house until today, so even though I've been able to use the computers at school to go on the Internet and check my email and stuff, I didn't really want to use up the little time I had to blog. Plus, when I feel like I have to blog, without any ideas about what I want to write about, things usually end poorly. So I was typing up my blogs in Word on my laptop when I was at home, and then copy and pasted all of them today and posted them. So that is why my archive will say I posted four times today.
So tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow is actually my dad's birthday! I have to make sure not to forget about that. He's turning 61. 61!!! Can you believe that?! Well, you actually probably can, as I'm fairly certain that no one who reads this blog has ever actually met my father. He was 40 when I was born, and as I'm turning 21 (in 4 months exactly! wow!), it makes sense that he's 61. Yea, my parents were both pretty old when they had me. They had both been married to other people before they married each other, so I guess that explains it.
I have no idea why I was just talking about my parents' love lives. Anyway...
High: that we got Internet!!!!! And that it was actually sunny, and warm, for the whole day today!
Low: I don't think I have a low today...
Thankful: for the Internet. (that was super lame, I'm sorry. I'll think of something really amazing for next time)
Books read this year: 37
love <3
So tomorrow is Friday. Tomorrow is actually my dad's birthday! I have to make sure not to forget about that. He's turning 61. 61!!! Can you believe that?! Well, you actually probably can, as I'm fairly certain that no one who reads this blog has ever actually met my father. He was 40 when I was born, and as I'm turning 21 (in 4 months exactly! wow!), it makes sense that he's 61. Yea, my parents were both pretty old when they had me. They had both been married to other people before they married each other, so I guess that explains it.
I have no idea why I was just talking about my parents' love lives. Anyway...
High: that we got Internet!!!!! And that it was actually sunny, and warm, for the whole day today!
Low: I don't think I have a low today...
Thankful: for the Internet. (that was super lame, I'm sorry. I'll think of something really amazing for next time)
Books read this year: 37
love <3
internet!
[Note: This was written on Wednesday, September 15]
Today is our last day without Internet! This time tomorrow we will have Internet in our house!! I can’t wait to not have to go to the library just to check my email and stuff. I mean, I know it’s not the end of the world, not having Internet at home. But it really is such a huge convenience to be able to go on the Internet whenever I want.
So other than the ridiculously exciting news that we’re finally going to get Internet, not much else is new. I’ve now been living in this house for over a week, and I’m having a pretty good time. Even though I was really unsure about living in res again or moving off campus, I’m really happy with my decision. When I went to visit res on the weekend, I realized that I could not see myself living there again, for a third year. I mean, I had two really great years there, but it was time to move out. Plus, I’m really happy with my house and the girls I live with. Right choice: Seana.
High: I saw actual blue sky today. Blue sky! And it was there for…five minutes!
Low: that for, like, the seventh day in a row, it rained today.
Thankful: that, not only am I starting assignments weeks before they're due, I actually know how to do them!
Books read this year: 37
love <3
Today is our last day without Internet! This time tomorrow we will have Internet in our house!! I can’t wait to not have to go to the library just to check my email and stuff. I mean, I know it’s not the end of the world, not having Internet at home. But it really is such a huge convenience to be able to go on the Internet whenever I want.
So other than the ridiculously exciting news that we’re finally going to get Internet, not much else is new. I’ve now been living in this house for over a week, and I’m having a pretty good time. Even though I was really unsure about living in res again or moving off campus, I’m really happy with my decision. When I went to visit res on the weekend, I realized that I could not see myself living there again, for a third year. I mean, I had two really great years there, but it was time to move out. Plus, I’m really happy with my house and the girls I live with. Right choice: Seana.
High: I saw actual blue sky today. Blue sky! And it was there for…five minutes!
Low: that for, like, the seventh day in a row, it rained today.
Thankful: that, not only am I starting assignments weeks before they're due, I actually know how to do them!
Books read this year: 37
love <3
New Year's Resolution--Update!
[Note: This was written on Sunday, September 12]
As some of you may know, one of my New Year’s resolutions this year was to read 50 books before the end of the year. I am currently in the middle of number 37, but I thought you guys might like to know what books I’ve read so far.
16. The Second Summer of the Sisterhood
17. Girls in Pants
18. Forever in Blue
19. Crow Lake
20. Teen Idol
21. Looking for Alaska
22. Sloppy Firsts
23. Second Helpings
24. Charmed Thirds
25. Fourth Comings
26. Being Nikki
27. Runaway
28. Angels Watching Over Me
29. Lifted Up by Angels
30. Until Angels Close My Eyes
31. All-American Girl
32. Gossip Girl
33. You Know You Love Me*
34. All I Want is Everything*
35. Because I’m Worth It*
36. I Like It Like That*
37. It Had To Be You*
So those are the books that I’ve read so far this year. I still have 13 books left to read, which I don’t think will be a problem at all. I still want to reread all four Twilight books, which I haven’t read in two years. I also want to read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. One of my good friends this summer was reading it and she told me I should read it. It also has a sequel, I’m not sure what it’s called, but I want to read it as well.
High: I got to talk to my mom today for the first time since I left. We had a lovely hour-long conversation.
Low: that I didn’t even leave the house because, guess what, it’s still raining. I hope it stops tomorrow!
Thankful: that the five of us who live here get along so well together.
Books read this year: 37
love <3
*These are all books in the Gossip Girl series.
As some of you may know, one of my New Year’s resolutions this year was to read 50 books before the end of the year. I am currently in the middle of number 37, but I thought you guys might like to know what books I’ve read so far.
16. The Second Summer of the Sisterhood
17. Girls in Pants
18. Forever in Blue
19. Crow Lake
20. Teen Idol
21. Looking for Alaska
22. Sloppy Firsts
23. Second Helpings
24. Charmed Thirds
25. Fourth Comings
26. Being Nikki
27. Runaway
28. Angels Watching Over Me
29. Lifted Up by Angels
30. Until Angels Close My Eyes
31. All-American Girl
32. Gossip Girl
33. You Know You Love Me*
34. All I Want is Everything*
35. Because I’m Worth It*
36. I Like It Like That*
37. It Had To Be You*
So those are the books that I’ve read so far this year. I still have 13 books left to read, which I don’t think will be a problem at all. I still want to reread all four Twilight books, which I haven’t read in two years. I also want to read The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson. One of my good friends this summer was reading it and she told me I should read it. It also has a sequel, I’m not sure what it’s called, but I want to read it as well.
High: I got to talk to my mom today for the first time since I left. We had a lovely hour-long conversation.
Low: that I didn’t even leave the house because, guess what, it’s still raining. I hope it stops tomorrow!
Thankful: that the five of us who live here get along so well together.
Books read this year: 37
love <3
*These are all books in the Gossip Girl series.
soulmates
[Note: This was written on Saturday, September 11.]
The first week of school is done. How did that happen?! It feels like just yesterday that classes had ended for the year, last year, and the summer was getting started. Now, it’s September and school has started again and somehow I’m in my third year. I really don’t know how that happened! Well, now I’m just being sentimental. I don’t like when things happen too quickly.
So, this is completely out of nowhere, but I’m listening to music right now and the song You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift just came on, and it got me thinking: do you think that, somewhere in the world, there’s someone who “belongs” with you? Like, someone you’re destined to be with forever? I guess I’m asking if you believe in soul mates or not. I do. I fully believe that, somewhere in the world, there is a man that I am destined to spend the rest of my life with, and I believe that every single person in the world is destined to be with someone. But I also believe that sometimes, people don’t find the person their destined to be with. I believe that sometimes, for whatever reason, you don’t find your soul mate. I’m actually really scared that’ll happen to me. I don’t know why, I have no reason to believe that I won’t find him. I guess, after seeing my parents split up, even though it went well for both of them and they still get along surprisingly well, I just really don’t want to get divorced. But if I find my soul mate, we obviously won’t get divorced. But I guess no one ever wants to get divorced. Anyway, let me know, in the comments, if you believe in soul mates or not.
I don’t really have that much else to write about. The first week of classes was OK, nothing too exciting. I finally finished unpacking all the stuff I have and am now almost done decorating my new room. It looks pretty good so far, if I do say so myself. My roommates are really nice too. There are five of us living in the house, so four other girls. I didn’t rent the house with any of them, I just got my room. But I already knew three of the other girls and I’m getting to know the fourth. I feel weirdly awkward around them and I’m not sure why. I feel like I have nothing to say to any of them, which is really weird. I mean, I love to talk, I do it all the time. And yet…I don’t know, maybe I’m just really bad at small talk. I’m not very good at thinking of things to talk about. I don’t know. I really like the other girls; I’m just the weird, awkward one. Sounds right.
High: this hasn’t happened yet, but tonight I’m going to the movies with a couple friends and one of them I haven’t seen since the spring, so getting to see her!
Low: that it is still raining. Still! And, of course, genius over here left her raincoat at home. Big surprise.
Thankful: that I know my way around the kitchen and have been able to make actually good food. I seriously hope this lasts!
Books read this year: 36
love <3
The first week of school is done. How did that happen?! It feels like just yesterday that classes had ended for the year, last year, and the summer was getting started. Now, it’s September and school has started again and somehow I’m in my third year. I really don’t know how that happened! Well, now I’m just being sentimental. I don’t like when things happen too quickly.
So, this is completely out of nowhere, but I’m listening to music right now and the song You Belong with Me by Taylor Swift just came on, and it got me thinking: do you think that, somewhere in the world, there’s someone who “belongs” with you? Like, someone you’re destined to be with forever? I guess I’m asking if you believe in soul mates or not. I do. I fully believe that, somewhere in the world, there is a man that I am destined to spend the rest of my life with, and I believe that every single person in the world is destined to be with someone. But I also believe that sometimes, people don’t find the person their destined to be with. I believe that sometimes, for whatever reason, you don’t find your soul mate. I’m actually really scared that’ll happen to me. I don’t know why, I have no reason to believe that I won’t find him. I guess, after seeing my parents split up, even though it went well for both of them and they still get along surprisingly well, I just really don’t want to get divorced. But if I find my soul mate, we obviously won’t get divorced. But I guess no one ever wants to get divorced. Anyway, let me know, in the comments, if you believe in soul mates or not.
I don’t really have that much else to write about. The first week of classes was OK, nothing too exciting. I finally finished unpacking all the stuff I have and am now almost done decorating my new room. It looks pretty good so far, if I do say so myself. My roommates are really nice too. There are five of us living in the house, so four other girls. I didn’t rent the house with any of them, I just got my room. But I already knew three of the other girls and I’m getting to know the fourth. I feel weirdly awkward around them and I’m not sure why. I feel like I have nothing to say to any of them, which is really weird. I mean, I love to talk, I do it all the time. And yet…I don’t know, maybe I’m just really bad at small talk. I’m not very good at thinking of things to talk about. I don’t know. I really like the other girls; I’m just the weird, awkward one. Sounds right.
High: this hasn’t happened yet, but tonight I’m going to the movies with a couple friends and one of them I haven’t seen since the spring, so getting to see her!
Low: that it is still raining. Still! And, of course, genius over here left her raincoat at home. Big surprise.
Thankful: that I know my way around the kitchen and have been able to make actually good food. I seriously hope this lasts!
Books read this year: 36
love <3
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
first day!
I so do not have a lot of time to be posting this, so I apologize in advance! I just moved into my new house yesterday, but we don't have Internet yet, so even though I wanted to write something yesterday (instead of unpacking!) I could not. I was very sad.
I have a question: how do I have so much stuff? It's a rhetorical question, but really. I'm just starting my third year at MUN, but you would think I'd been living here for at least ten years, with all the stuff I have! I tried to unpack yesterday, I really did. It did not go well. Kay, but I need to pick up some shelves this weekend. So there's no point unpacking the stuff that's going to go on the shelves, just to move it again. Probably could have unpacked my clothes, though...Oops... :)
High: moving into my new house, and seeing some of my Newfie friends again!
Low: school.
Thankful: that I made it to Newfoundland safely, and that I have a place to live!
Books read this year: 36
love <3
I have a question: how do I have so much stuff? It's a rhetorical question, but really. I'm just starting my third year at MUN, but you would think I'd been living here for at least ten years, with all the stuff I have! I tried to unpack yesterday, I really did. It did not go well. Kay, but I need to pick up some shelves this weekend. So there's no point unpacking the stuff that's going to go on the shelves, just to move it again. Probably could have unpacked my clothes, though...Oops... :)
High: moving into my new house, and seeing some of my Newfie friends again!
Low: school.
Thankful: that I made it to Newfoundland safely, and that I have a place to live!
Books read this year: 36
love <3
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