EXCERPT!!! ...and Being Self-Conscious

Hello lovely readers!  How are your Saturday nights going? Mine's fairly decent.  Of course, now I am being very antisocial by blogging...oops!

So, I've now been writing my NaNoWriMo novel for six days, and as of right now, I'm up to 17 774 words.  I've been kind of less productive in the last couple of days.  It's actually harder than I thought, to keep the plot going for so long!  I didn't do any pre-planning before November first.  I mean, I knew what my novel was going to be about, but I didn't really think about the plot or details about the characters or anything.  I just kind of wanted to see what would happen.  And at first, it was going really well, but now I'm almost two-fifths through my novel, and it's kind of getting boring.  At least for me; it's kind of hard to think of what can keep happening to these characters to keep it interesting.

So I thought I would give you guys a little excerpt from my novel.  Like I said earlier, it's all in letters, but hopefully it won't be too confusing.  But first, I should just tell you guys that I basically never let other people read the stuff I write, because I'm super self-conscious about it.  So if you like it, definitely let me know.  And if you don't...keep your comments to yourself!*

Dear Charli,

If you’re reading this…I’m so sorry.  I didn’t want to leave.  This is not my choice, at all.  But this is just the way things have to be, for now.  I sincerely hope you’ll forgive me and that we can still be friends.  I’ll wait for your letter.  No matter how long it takes, I’ll never stop waiting.  Please don’t disappear from my life, even though I disappeared from yours.  I can’t imagine my life without you.

Paul

Dear Paul,

I can’t believe you’re gone.  I thought this was some kind of cruel joke.  How could you not tell me you were leaving?  Not even tell me it was a possibility?!  I was so, so angry at you.  You just left me in a lurch!  And you made me look like an idiot!  We’re best friends and you didn’t even tell me?!  I had to lie to everyone, saying that I knew you were leaving and hadn’t told them because you’d asked me not to!  Argh, I am so furious with you!!!
But I miss you.  I miss you so, so very much.  It’s so difficult not being able to talk to you every day.  Come back?  I know you can’t, but a girl can dream.  Love you.

Charli

Dear Charli,

I miss you.  My life just doesn’t make sense without you.  I so wish you could come visit me, but that’s just not an option.
I’ve met some really nice people.  No one compared to you, but people I can waste time with.  Of course, I never stop thinking about you, ever, so what’s even the point?!
Hope life isn’t too hard for you, and that things have settled down a bit since I left.  Tell them anything you need to not embarrass yourself.  You have my permission to make any lies you need.

Paul

Dear Paul

I can’t come visit you?  Why not?  I can’t do this Paul!!!  You just disappear to goodness knows where without telling a single person, I can’t call or email you and now I find out that visiting you isn’t even an option!  I wish you would tell me what the hell was going on!  God, you piss me off!
Stacey talked to me today.  She doesn’t know what’s going on either.  I mean, you obviously know that, because you didn’t tell her.  How could you not tell your best friend or your girlfriend that you were leaving?  You can’t just pick up and leave and not tell a single person.  Your actions have repercussions Paul!  You can’t just do what you want, when you want and think that nothing will change for anyone else.  You frustrate me!
Love you

Charli

Dear Charli

You think that I don’t know that my actions have repercussions?!  Are you kidding me, Charli?  All I can think about since I left is how much this is affecting you and Stacey and John..  I should have left months ago, but I kept putting it off, in an attempt to not hurt you guys.  Jeeze, Charli, do you really think I’m not that self-centered?
Life here kind of sucks.  I don’t really get along with anyone, which is so unlike me.  The people here just don’t get me, I hate it.

Paul

Dear Paul

I’m sorry.  Obviously you know your actions have repercussions.  I didn’t mean that.  I was just upset.
So what’s going on with people not liking you?  Everyone likes you.  This town is falling apart without you.  You were the glue that held everyone together.  There is no one in the whole world who doesn’t like you, that’s just ridiculous.
Miss you

Charli

High: spending the day with some really great friends and just having fun.
Low: I honestly don't think I have a low today. Sweet!
Thankful: for chocolate chip cookies! haha

Books read this year: 40

love <3

*I'm kidding...sort of.  If you have some legit, constructive criticism, I'm totally open to that.  But I don't really want to hear stuff like "this is so dumb, you're such a bad writer, just give up" because that is no fun.