That's It, That's All

Irony is a cruel, cruel thing.  Today is the last day of BEDA, and I feel like I need to go out with some big finish.  Something witty and funny and a little heartfelt and sentimental.  I feel like a good ending is the key to this kind of thing.

Unfortunately, I am still extremely exhausted (slept three hours on plane, and had an hour and a half nap this afternoon) which means that I do not currently possess the brain power to come up with any kind of writing that even remotely resembles what I think it should.  However, this is my 199th post, which means that my next one will be my 200th!  Two hundred posts!  That is a pretty monumental milestone!  So I think I will just let this last post of BEDA be whatever it currently is.  Then, sometime this next month, when my brain is more aware of it's surroundings and functions, I will come up with the best milestone post since I don't know when!

Days until camp: 24

xo

Sleeps

I. AM SO. TIRED.

I spent all day today packing.  It was my last day here, so I really had no choice other than to pack.  I may have procrastinated packing for over a week, but I still got it all done in time.  Although I did do about 95% of it today sooo...

Anyway, I went out tonight for frozen yogurt with some friends (the last four days are probably the most social I have been this whole semester!).  My friend Diana is also leaving tomorrow, so it was the last night here for both of us.  Honestly, I thought I'd be home by, like, ten at the latest!  I mean, frozen yogurt is not exactly an activity that takes all night, you know?  Anyway, a few of us girls ended up hanging out at the 24 hour Starbucks and then in the McDonalds parking lot until after 2am, and I didn't get home until 2:30!  My flight is at 7am, which is in less than four hours.  I had planned to wake up at 4, and the cab for the airport is picking me up at 5.  So as soon as I got home I finished the last little bit of packing I had to do.  I had planned to sleep at least a couple hours tonight, but now that is just not happening.  I mean, I'd have to wake up in forty minutes anyway, so what's the point, really?  Besides, I really don't want to risk sleeping through my alarm and missing my flight.  And I know I'll sleep on the plane, I always do.  Plus I have pretty much all afternoon tomorrow to take a nap.  Sleeping is not at all an issue for me.

OK, now I'm just rambling because of how tired I am.  Tomorrow is the last day of BEDA and I promise, cross my heart and hope to die, that it will not be late.  And hopefully it won't be so rambly.

Days until camp: 25

xo

Sorry... Not Sorry

Well.  I did not think I was going to be late posting tonight, honestly.  I spent all day packing (sort of...).  I took everything off my walls and my room actually looks so bare right now.  It's really weird!  Anyway, just before supper, I was on the phone with my mom when I got a text from a couple friends about a board game night.  By the time I got off the phone and found out the details of the evening, I only had a few minutes to make supper and eat it, and then get ready to go before my friend Allison came to pick me up.  I didn't even think about posting anything before I left, I was in too much of a rush!  Plus, I didn't think I'd be out this late, honestly.  I thought I would be home before midnight and would have time to post something and not be late!

So, I am sorry that for the second time in as many days I am late posting for BEDA.  However, both times was because I was out with friends, having fun and being social.  And while BEDA is important to me, and my readers are important to me, having fun with friends is slightly more important. #sorrynotsorry

Days until camp: 26

xo

Packing

Packing really is a huge pain in my butt.  I had a whole lot of stuff in storage in the basement, stuff I hadn't even touched for probably eight months.  Today I brought it all upstairs and sorted through it all.  I decided what I was keeping, what I could throw away or recycle, and what I could donate.  I managed to condense it all down to one small tote, which was quite an accomplishment.  However, I now need to get started on my room.  Decide what I'm taking with me for the summer, and pack up everything that I'm leaving here.  I also, somehow, need to make everything I'm taking back with me to fit into only two 50lbs suitcases and two carry-ons.  Fortunately, my roommate Jenny is excellent at getting everything to fit and she agreed to help me.  Thank goodness for awesome roommates!

Days until camp: 27

xo

Questions

Well, today is April 26th.  The twenty-sixth day of BEDA.  That means there are only four days left of BEDA, after today.  I can't believe how fast this month has gone.  On that note, I can't believe how fast 2013 has gone so far.  Already almost four months into the year?  That's a third of the year!  What even?!

OK, now I don't know what else to talk about.  The thing about blogging every day for thirty days is that, eventually, you kind of run out of things to talk about.  I mean, sooner or later, you get to the point where there is really just nothing else to talk about.

So I posted a new video earlier today (you can watch it HERE).  In this video, I answered some questions from an old school Myspace survey (you all remember what I'm talking about!).  I'm going to copy and paste the questions below and I want you guys to answer some, or all, of the questions in the comments below!

THE QUESTIONS:
1. Whats the first thing that you wash in the shower?
2. Do you plan your outfits?
3. Whats the closest thing to you that is red?
4. Would you kiss the last person that you kissed again?
5. Do you remember your last dream?
6.Did you meet anybody new today?
7. How many countries have you visited?
8. Is there anything sparkly in the room that youre in?
9. Do you use chopstick?
10. Can you use chopsticks?
11. Last time you cried?
12. The last person you held hands with?
13. Could you ever forgive a cheater?
14. What are you wearing?
15. Favorite animal?
16. Can you lick your elbow?
17. Are you taller than your mom?

Days until camp: 28

xo

Laaaaaaate Movies!

I am soooo late with today's post!  Oops?  But you know what, I was out being social with friends so whatever!  I'm still awake, which means it's still the 25th for me, which makes this OK!

...Now I have nothing to write about.  I hung out with some of my girlfriends tonight and we watched What A Girl Wants with Amanda Bynes (old school Amanda, though, not present-day Amanda. Homegirl has gone off the deep end lately!).  It's a really cute movie, and is kind of perfect for preteens and early teens, which is the age we all were when it came out.  We were talking about it, though, and it really doesn't seem like there's many good movies for that age group being made anymore.  When we were younger, there were lots of movies that were perfect for our age group, and now it just seems like there really isn't anymore.

Let me know in the comments what you think about this. Are there any age-appropriate movies being made for preteens and early teenagers that you can think of?  What were your favourite movies when you were that age?

Days until camp: 29

xo

Naps

The evolution of napping throughout our lives is probably one of the weirdest things.  From birth until about school age, we're forced to take an afternoon nap.  I say forced because, as far as I have seen, a lot of toddlers are not quite the biggest fans of napping.*

Then, once we start school, napping is fazed completely out of our lives.  And, for elementary school pretty much all the way through high school, this is not a bad thing.  We all have way too much energy and our social lives are way too big to even have time to sleep at night, let alone napping during the day.  Plus, in high school, we're all so busy with school work, trying to get into the college or university of our choice, on top of anything else... Seriously, I don't think I thought of napping once when I was in high school!

And then university starts.  With the option of picking your own schedule, plus the new adventure of living in res and being away from home, usually for the first time, things can get kind of crazy.  And kind of exhausting.  I started occasionally napping in my first year of university and it was a sensation I had never quite experienced before.  And I loved it, at least at the time.

Of course, there are two kinds of people in the world.  In this case, there are the people who can nap and the people who can't.  I quickly discovered that when I woke up from a nap, I felt groggy, disoriented, and usually more tired than before I napped.  If I have an afternoon off, for example, and have nothing difficult I need to do, then a nap is more than welcome (like this afternoon, for example).  However, if I have any kind of work later in the day, a nap will not help me at all.  Some sort of physical activity, even going for a walk, tends to wake me up more and make me more alert than a nap ever will.

It is usually at camp during the summer that this issue is brought up the most.  Each day the counsellors get an hour off, and 99% of the other counsellors use their time off to take a nap.  However, I can probably count on one hand how many times I've used my hour off to take a nap.  I am definitely the odd one out, there's no doubt about that.  But, while napping can rejuvinate some people, it only makes me more tired.  Go figure.

Let me know in the comments how you feel about naps!  Are you pro-napping or does it make you more tired, like me?

Days until camp: 30

xo

*This is honestly something I've never understood.  I mean, if someone told me I had to sleep for a couple hours every day I would be all over that!

WPP!

So I've been on tumblr for, like, two hours.  Plus I'm watching season three of Gossip Girl.  So, needless to say, I now have fifteen minutes to quickly come up with something to write about, hopefully using real sentences and actual English.

So today was my third last shift at the pool.  I am leaving next week to go back to Ontario for a couple weeks, then moving to Nova Scotia to work at camp for the summer.  Anyway, because I'm leaving for the summer I have to quit my job at the pool.  This is the third time I've quit for the summer and I've always been rehired, so it's not really a big deal.

OK, funny story.  So yesterday, I was teaching this class that's the highest level, so the kids are all a little bit older (eleven to thirteenish).  They were asking me if I was going to be their teacher for the next eight weeks as well.  Instead of saying something normal, like "No, I'm moving away" I told them that I was leaving because I was joining the Witness Protection Program.

Who even says that?  Who even thinks something like that?  I can only hope that either none of the kids had any idea what I was talking about.  Or, if they did, they knew I was joking and didn't say anything to their parents.  I mean, I taught these kids for eight weeks, so they should know by now that pretty much everything I say is a joke.  But still.

Days until camp: 31

xo 

Personal Time

Something that a lot of people don't really know about me is that I kind of have social anxiety.  I really don't like being around large groups of people I don't know, and the idea of making new friends kind of terrifies me.  The reason not a lot of people know this about me is because I have gotten really good at coping with my social anxiety.  I like to make jokes and try to make people laugh, because that makes it feel like they like me.  I also like to be loud and really energetic and enthusiastic, because that can sometimes make me forget how uncomfortable I am.

 

So, with this in mind, you can probably imagine five years ago when I moved to Newfoundland by myself and didn't know anyone, how terrifying it was to think about making all kinds of new friends.  I was still really unsure of who I was, so trying to meet all kinds of new people and make new friends was beyond nerve-wracking.  However, I was lucky that within the first couple months I joined one of the on-campus Christian groups and was able to make a lot of new friends.  Over the past five years, a lot of those people have moved away permanently, some of left and come back and lots of new people have joined.  But, overall, I have had a pretty solid group of friends.

 

Now, fast forward to the past few months.  None of my really good friends are in the same program as me at school, so it has never been typical that I see my friends on weekdays (although it was happened) but it has always been kind of standard that I see at least some of my friends at some point on the weekend.  The last few months, however, it feels like I hardly see any of my good friends at all.  I knew we were all busy with school and work and life and whatever else was going on, so I kind of brushed it off for a while.  I figured that no one was really hanging out as much as we used to; I never guessed that a lot of my friends were still hanging out and not inviting me.

 

It started out small: I would see one of my friends post some pictures on Facebook of some night with other people from our group of friends, and it kind of hurt my feelings that I wasn't invited but I didn't let it get to me.  Over the years I've built a pretty strong shell to keep myself from getting hurt and it really does take a lot of really get to me.

 

Anyway, over the last three or four months, it feels like my "friends" are hanging out more and more without me, and it feels like the only times I get invited to hang out, it's almost like a pity invite rather than because they actually want me there or want to spend time with me.  And, I mean, I'm not trying to be needy or clingy; I don't need to always be invited everywhere.  But, you know, it would be nice if the people I consider friends actually wanted to spend time with me.

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that it kind of hurts when it seems like my "friends" don't even want to spend time with me anymore, or when I see them somewhere, like at church, they don't even talk to me, other than saying hi.  Or when a bunch of them talk about planning a girl's night, right in front of me, and don't even pretend that I'm invited.  Maybe I'm being a huge drama queen about all of this, but I just feel like none of my friends like me anymore and/or they do not care at all about spending any time with me. asdfghjkl

 

Days until camp: 32

 

xo

Snobby Snobs

So, little known fact about me is that I am kind of a movie snob.  I love watching movies, I've seen sooo many and I own a lot.  But when it comes to watching new movies, movies that I've never seen before, I tend to be very picky.  Maybe it's kind of ridiculous of me, but if I'm going to watch a movie that I've never seen before, especially with other people, I like to be the one that picks the movie.  That way, I know I'll like it.

So last night, I spent time hanging out with two of my roommates, Julie and Natasha, and we watched the movie 13 Going On 30.  It was my movie, plus I had already seen it like a bazillion times, so I knew I liked it; no worries.  Then tonight, the three of us plus our other roommate Jenny made dinner together and spent a fun time hanging out and then decided to watch another movie.  We had agreed on 27 Dresses, another movie of mine, so no problem there.  But then Julie remembered that she had borrowed a movie from a friend, and suggested that we watch that instead, so she could return it to it's owner.  The movie was Morning Glory, with Rachel McAdams and Diane Keaton.  I had never seen this movie before and, honestly, when she suggested we watch it, my stomach kind of dropped.  Not because I didn't think it would be funny or a good movie or whatever, but solely because I had never seen it before and I didn't know if I would like it.

Anyway, we ended up watching it and I really enjoyed it!  It was a rom-com, with some pretty funny moments.  I would definitely recommend it if you like those kinds of movies.

Days until camp: 33

xo

Dumb Stuff

I have sixteen minutes to get this post up and I am determined!  I tweeted a while ago that I was hanging out with my roommates and today's post might be late, but excuses are for the weak!

So a couple days ago, or maybe yesterday, I saw a friend of mine post this article to her facebook.  It's an article on BuzzFeed, and basically lists some really stupid things that people have said or done or written online.  I highly suggest reading it, because it is quite funny.  Plus it'll make you feel like you're not quite as dumb as you might feel like you sometimes are.*

After I read the article, I started thinking about some pretty dumb things that I had seen on Internet recently.  For example, after the whole broohaha about Justin Bieber at the Anne Frank house, I read a slew of tweets from Bieber fans absolutely losing their minds, saying things like what makes Anne Frank so special, why doesn't Justin come to their house as well, blah blah blah.  Although not all of the ones I read outright said that they didn't know who Anne Frank was (although there were some who had no idea who she was) it was very much implied based on what they were saying.

Also within the last couple weeks, I saw a bunch of people saying they had no idea that Titanic was a real boat that really did hit an iceberg and really did sink.  So many people thought it was just a movie and had no idea it was based on a real historical event.  

I'm sorry, but how can you live in this day and age, with the Internet, and not have any idea that Titanic was a real thing?  Or not know who Anne Frank is?  It just absolutely blows my mind.

Days until camp: 34

xo

*At least, that's how it made me feel!

Bein' Lazy

I have now been on summer vacation for over two days and I have done... absolutely nothing.  Other than eat, sleep, watch so many episodes of Gossip Girl and youtube videos and go to work, I have literally done nothing.  OK, I know that sounds like I've done a lot but, other than working at the pool, pretty much everything else I've done involves sitting in my room in front of my computer.  I'd love to spend some time outside, even if just going for a walk, but the weather has actually been pretty gross here lately.  Hopefully it'll warm up soon so that I can enjoy a little bit of St John's before I leave at the end of the month.

Anyway, I had plans for things I needed to do: film some videos! Go to the grocery store! Start packing!  And I have not done any of those things yet, at all.  I mean, I know I need to take a break, I did just finish another semester of university.  But none of the things on my to-do list are really that difficult or taxing.  So, I have big plans for tomorrow of actually getting stuff done.  Here's hoping they actually happen!

Days until camp: 35 (five weeks today I'll be there!)

xo

PB & J

My room is really cold right now and I'm really tired and all I want to do is finish season two of Gossip Girl, so today's post will be rather short.

So the other day, my roommate Julie and I were taking a study break and getting something to eat.  I don't remember how the topic came up specifically, but I think one of us (probably me) mentioned how good peanut butter is (definitely me).  Then the idea of jam/jelly also came up, which was closely followed by the whole thing that is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  Anyway, long story short, I came to the realization that, up until a couple days ago, I had never had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

This has never been a conscious decision.  I mean, I enjoy jam and jelly on toast at breakfast* and I love peanut butter like it's my day job.  But my mom never made PB&Js for me as a child, maybe because I never asked for them or maybe because she didn't think I'd like them, I don't know.  But they were never a staple in my childhood diet, so as I grew older and started making my own sandwiches, PB&J was never even on my radar of possible sandwich options.

But that day, after Julie and I talked about PB&Js I made myself one and Oh. My. Gosh. So good!  I feel like I am probably going to be eating quite a few of these over the next couple weeks, both because they are so easy to make and because it's an excellent way to help me go through a lot of my food.**

Let me know in the comments how you feel about PB&Js!  Also, is there any "staple food" that everyone loves that you've either never tried, or tried and didn't like?

Days until camp: 36

xo

*I mean, when else is jam/jelly a thing?

**I'm moving out for four months, so I have to eat all my food that could go bad.

Lying Games

I feel like earlier today I had an idea for what today's post should be about, but now I can't remember what it was, in typical Seana fashion.  Whatever, I'm sure it'll come to me either in the shower or in the middle of the night, where the best ideas always make their appearance.

So a few days ago, I don't remember when, I wrote a post about challenging myself to read as many books this year as possible, which is an ongoing challenge.  At the time, I was reading The Fault In Our Stars by John Green, which I have since finished.  I think it's fair to say that I am a pretty big John Green fan.  But I also know how he writes and what he does to the emotions of the reader.  I was able, fortunately, to figure out pretty early what was going to happen, so when the time for crying and emotion and feels came they weren't able to grab ahold of me as strongly as I would have anticipated.  I guess that was just my fancy way of saying that I didn't cry whilst reading it, which is a HUGE accomplishment for me!  But if you haven't read TFIOS, I highly highly recommend that you go read it right meow!

Since I finished that book I have started reading a book that is about as far from anything I've been reading in the past few months as a book could possibly be.  It's called The Lying Game by Sara Shepard.  For those of you thinking that the name Sara Shepard sounds familiar, it's because she is the woman who wrote the Pretty Little Liars books.  I picked up this book, which is the first in a series, from the library recently and so far I am really enjoying it.  It's a little bit scary and has been giving me some kind of weird dreams (what else is new?!) but I'm glad I decided to read it.

Let me know in the comments about some of the good books you have read recently!  Or, if you've read a book that you weren't quite impressed with, you can let me know about that as well!

Also, apparently the Lying Game series was also made into a TV show!  Have any of you seen it?  If so, what did you think?  Should I check it out?  Let me know!

Days until summer: 0!!

Exams until summer: 0!!

Days until camp: 37

xo

(Almost) Summer!!

Good thing I just looked at the clock on my computer because I currently only have nine minutes left to get this up before midnight!  Yikes!

So earlier this afternoon I wrote my physiology final which was... a thing that happened.  I really don't have even any idea how I did, all I know is that I didn't feel as bad afterwards as I thought I would, so that's a plus.  It was all multiple choice and I am just praying that I got enough answers right to pass the course, because if I didn't... it's a two-semester course, so that would add a whole nother year to my degree.  And after already being in university for five years I am burnt out.  Can't even deal with the idea of another year.

My last final is at noon tomorrow and it was by far the one I am least worried about.  It is my religion and pop culture class, the one I had to do the webpage for, that I got a really good mark on.  I pretty much just have to show up tomorrrow and I'll get the credit, which is really all I care about.  Plus, the exam is essay questions, which are much easier to BS than multiple choice questions.

That's it for today!  Starting tomorrow, for the rest of the month, the posts will be back to my normal style.  Thanks for sticking with me through a very difficult and trying exam period!

Days until summer: 1!

Exams until summer: 1!

Days until camp: 41

xo

OVERWHELMED!

So I am an emotional mess right now.  My second final exam is tomorrow, in human physiology, and I do not feel at all prepared for it, not as prepared as I probably should be at least.  So, because of that, I already don't want to write anything today, except that I am OCD and have an innate need to please everyone, so there's no way I can miss a day.

And then I came home from work and heard about the bombings that happened in Boston, on the route of Boston Marathon, and now I feel like anything I write needs to be about that.  But I am way too tired and stressed and overwhelmed right now to even be able to form coherent thoughts, let alone write anything good.  So I am going to just end it here today, because, for another day in a row... I just can't even.

Days until summer: 2

Exams until summer: 2

Days until camp: 42

#PrayForBoston

xo

Real Life

Guys, I'm really sorry about this, but tonight I just... I just can't.  I am feeling very overwhelmed by everything: school, summer, finding a subletter for four months, health stuff.  There's just a lot going on in my life right now and it all kind of came crashing down on me today.  I hope you understand that sometimes real life just gets in the way of everything else.  I love you all and I will (hopefully) be back tomorrow with a regular post.

Days until summer: 3

Exams until summer: 2

Days until camp: 43

xo

FooooodsDay!

While I was cooking supper tonight, I started thinking about all the different ways that people can eat their food.  I mean, we're all different people and we all have different tastes, so it makes sense that we like lots of different things, food-wise.  For example, some people like to put ketchup on their macaroni and cheese; some like to put maple syrup on their bacon or breakfast sausage (...guilty!).

What I think is the weirdest is the way in which we deem certain tastes "acceptable" and others not at all acceptable.  Like, although lots of people find the idea of putting ketchup on their macaroni and cheese not at all appetizing, it has been deemed somewhat socially acceptable and most people usually don't freak out when someone else does it.  But, when I tell people that I don't put milk on my cereal, everyone absolutely freaks out!  Seriously, it's like people are incapable of understanding how I could like to eat my cereal in a way that isn't normal.

Here's the thing: I do not like the taste of milk.  I never have and I probably never will.  I'm sorry if that makes me a picky eater but it's just one of those things that I don't like.  So, because of my dislike for milk, I have never put milk on my cereal.  In my opinion, it completely ruins the taste of the cereal.  For me, having never put milk or any other kind of liquid on my cereal, cereal is not meant to be mushy and soft, it's kind of crunchy.  Sometimes, when I eat granola, I put yogurt on it, but that's about as far as I've ever gone.

Anyway, when people find out that I eat my cereal plain, they lose their minds.  I know it isn't normal, but it is by far not the weirdest thing a person has ever eaten.  But people try to tell me that I'm wrong, somehow, that I'm not eating my cereal the way I'm supposed to.  Like, sorry not sorry that I do something a little different than how you think it should be done.  But it's really not the end ofthe world.

Let me know in the comments if there's anything you eat that other people don't consider normal, I'd love to know!

Days until summer: 4

Exams until summer: 2

Days until camp: 44

PS. I also mix normal white milk with chocolate milk, because I don't like white milk by itself and I find chocolate milk to be too chocolatey.  I've been doing this for as long as I can remember and I used to think it was weird, until I came to university and found quite a few other people who do it as well!  Have you ever mixed milks?  Let me know!

A Thing That Happened

I am so tired and all I want to do is go to bed right meow but then I remembered that I have to write something so here we are.

I am currently watching the series finale of 7th Heaven and I want to write something about finales and shows ending and all that jazz but I really am too tired to give that topic the thought and effort it deserves so maybe I'll save it for later.

I wrote my first of three final exams this morning and it was... a thing that happened.  I think it went OK, but we will see.  Either way it's over now and I am pretty pleased about that.  The next exam I have is on Tuesday, it's human physiology and I seriously need to get my study on for that baby, so we all know what I'll be doing tomorrow!

Sorry of this post is super lame but I am just very, very tired and all I want to do now is sleep until the end of time.  Meet me there?

Let me know in the comments anything interesting or exciting that has happened to you recently!  I'd love to know :)

Days until summer: 5

Exams until summer: 2

Days until camp: 45

xo

Reasons

Today's post is going to be much shorter than all my BEDA 2013 blogs so far, for a few different reasons.  One, all I did today was study and I didn't even leave my house.  This means that I have less than nothing to talk about.  Usually I hear something or see something* or think something that leads to a good blog topic.  Not today, though, because I didn't even leave the house.

The other reason this post will be short is because my first final exam is at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning, so I pretty much cannot procrastinate anymore!  I've studied everything, I don't really think there's anything else I'm going to review tonight.  But I still need to shower and get ready for bed, and I want to get to bed at a decent hour so I can get enough sleep and be well rested to destroy this nutrition exam!

So, on that note, I am going to end my rambling and typing and words and English now.  I love you all and I'll talk to you tomorrow when I will be one third done my exams.

Days until summer: 6

Exams until summer: 3

Days until camp: 46

PS. I will leave you with this article I found today about Sandy Hook.  Be prepared for a whole lot of the feels.

*Not usually see, though, because I am so freaking blind.  Seriously, it's bad.

Society's Rules

I'm not sure where this comes from, but I feel like in our society these days, there is only one aqcceptable way to make the transition from teenager to adult: graduate high school, take four years to do a university degree, get your master's, find that amazing job that leads to a career, get married and have kids.  I'm sure this pre-approved way of life is not anything new, I am just fully realising it now because it directly affects me.

As I said, I don't know who came up with it, who decided that that was the way, the only way to live your life and any deviation from the norm was to be frowned upon and not accepted.  But it was definitely a very present stigma in our society.  For example, when I tell people that I am in my fifth year of university, I immediately expect them to judge me: I must not be smart enough to do my B.Sc. in four years; I must be too poor to afford the tuition of a full course load.  I doubt people actually think that, especially fellow students who understand all too well just how difficult university is these days.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, other than that I am feeling the pressure now more than ever to adhere to society's very strict rules of how to live your life.  I know it's my life and there are likely more people out there who disagree with this "norm" than there are people who judge those who don't follow it.  Even just looking at my group of friends, I have several other friends who started university the same year as me who are in their fifth year; two of my good friends got married almost three years ago, while they were both still in school, and they have a son and another child on the way.  I can actually count on one hand the number of people I know personally who finished their bachelor's degree in four years.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel like society in general has created some sort of normal way of living life that everyone is supposed to follow, and that I am not following at all.  This often makes me feel like I have somehow failed as a person or something, which I know is absolutely beyond ridiculous.  How I choose to live my life, how many years I spend doing my undergrad, what I choose as a career, all of that is my choice, it's up to me, and as long as it makes me happy then I don't really care what society thinks of my life.

Let me know if the comments if you ever feel this kind of pressure from society to live your life a certain way.

Days until summer: 7

Exams until summer: 3

Days until camp: 47

xo

Why I Do What I Do

I tend to go through periods of being very secure and very insecure about my presence on the Internet.  When I say presence, I mostly mean my youtube channel.  I have been posting videos for over two and a half years, and I don't even have a hundred subscribers, not even close.  And, I mean, I didn't start making videos with the hopes of becoming "youtube famous".  Honestly, I'm not really sure why I started making videos.  I remember when I decided to start making videos, but I don't remember why.  I feel like I saw it as a challenge and as a new creative outlet and those two things together intrigued me a whole lot.

Anyway, when I first started making videos, I never did it with the hopes of becoming famous on youtube, nor did I plan to make money from it, or have making videos be my job.  I started because the whole concept seemed interesting.  And, for the past two and a half years, I have continued to make videos because I genuinely enjoy it, I find it very fun.  Sometimes I have these thoughts, where I think to myself, "Why on earth do I film myself talking to a video camera, alone in my room, and then post it on the Internet for anyone to see?  And why is that completely normal?!"  However, ninety-nine percent of the time I absolutely making videos, and it has become a pretty big part of my life.

The downside, though, is that I still have so few subscribers.  Like I said, I never thought I would get millions of subscribers, or that lots of other people would know who I was.  But, I mean, I guess I kind of figured after over two years of making videos, I would have at least a thousand subscribers.  I mean, that doesn't seem too unreasonable to me.

Having so few subscribers, and having my videos getting so little attention has often lead me to think that I'm boring, that I'm not interesting, that I should just stop making videos.  I mean, I don't want to stop making videos, by any means, and I know that it doesn't matter if other people watch me, because I make videos because they make me happy, not because it makes other people happy.  And, I mean, worst case scenario, I know my mom will always watch my videos (she still doesn't understand youtube...).

But then, today, I was talking to one of the girls I work with, and she was telling me that she just discovered last night that I had a youtube channel, and she went and watched a bunch of my videos and she loved them and she subscribed and she said she found them very entertaining.  And, frankly, I believed her.  If she hadn't liked my videos, she could have just never mentioned to me that she had found my channel and I would have been none the wiser.  But she made it a point to tell me that she had found my channel and liked my videos.  So, I mean, if she can find them and like them, why can't other people?  I suppose I could actually try to advertise my channel to other youtubers and try to draw traffic to my channel.  But, if there's one thing I've learned from watching youtube, it is that other youtubers hate when you try to market yourself on their channel or in the comments of their videos.  So, I mean, talking about myself in comments will make people hate me and then they definitely won't check out my channel.

So, I guess what this all means is that for now the best I can do is continue to post videos that I enjoy, about whatever I want, and know that everything happens for a reason.  So, if I am meant to have a lot of followers, then the right people will find my channel and help support me.  And, if not, I will still continue to make videos just for me (and my mom).

What about you?  Let me know in the comments if you have ever been in a similar situation (that was very vague... just leave me a comment!!)

Days until summer: 8

Exams until summer: 3

Days until camp: 48

xo

Waaaaaterbottle!

Guys, I have no sweet clue what to write about today!  Today was the first day of "no school, study for exams, hate your life" time, so all I did was procrastinate all morning (classic me) and work at the pool all afternoon.  Nothing blog-worthy happened at all today...

So I was just sitting here, trying to come up with something to write about, and I was talking to my roommate Jenny about waterbottles.  I am very pro-waterbottle, I pretty much always have one with me.  I have this great Nalgene that I got a couple years ago from Canadian Tire, it's green and super durable and just all around awesome.  I like to have it with me all the time, and it's great for work or class or the gym.  It's not so great for at home, though, just because it's kind of big and clunky to carry around the house.  I have tried just using a regular glass, but we don't have an excess of glasses in our house* and it seems silly to constantly be using one just for water.  Plus, the ones we have aren't huge, so I would constantly go back and forth to the kitchen to fill it up.

Anyway, yesterday while I was at Shoppers, I picked up a a tumbler (not the website!), I'll insert a picture below.  It's hard to explain, but basically it's plastic, insulated, has a lid and straw, plus it is just super cute and colourful!  I'm sure you could put any beverage in it, but all I've used it for is water, plus some ice!  I hate having ice in a glass when I'm not using a straw, because all the ice just ends up hitting me in the face (y'all know what I'm talking about!) but I like ice, because it keeps my water colder for longer.  Hey, did you know that ice cold water makes your metabolism work extra hard, to warm the water up to your body's temperature!  Sweet!  So if you're going to drink water (which you should because it keeps you alive!!!) drink colder water, it makes your body work even harder!

Anyway... what was I talking about?  Oh yea, I bought a plastic tumbler for my water when I'm at home.  The funny thing is, I love using this tumbler so much, that I have probably had a solid seven liters of water in the last 24 hours.  Which, I mean, is great, because water is so great for you!  But I have literally had to pee every twenty minutes, which is not so convenient for my life.  So, there's that.

This was another one of my rambley posts, wasn't it?  Um... oops? #sorrynotsorry

Days until summer: 9

Exams until summer: 3

Days until camp: 49 (training starts seven weeks today!!)

*I mean, there's five of us living here, so there's never enough of anything!  Except spoons.  We have 18,362 spoons. Legit.

my new tumbler! excuse how ratchet I look... :|

 

Treats for Self

You know what's fun?  Trying to come up with something interesting and original to write about every single day for thirty days.  You know what's even more fun?  Realizing that today is only day 7, and that I am barely a quarter of the way through BEDA. #yikes

So this afternoon, after church, I took a little, very windy walk down to Shoppers Drugmart and went on a little shopping spree!  I am still justifying this by saying that I didn't spend any money (except the taxes) and that I was going to have to use the points up eventually, so why not today?  Plus, it was a gift to myself for finishing the semester and getting through another year of school!  So, with that being said, I am now going to insert some pictures of the stuff I got:

can't forget about the study snacks! a necessity

Those are the things I picked up on my little shopping spree today.  If you have any questions about anything I bought, you can ask down in the comments!  Also, while you're down there, let me know if you ever buy anything special for yourself at the end of a semester or school year!

Days until summer: 10

Exams until summer: 3

Days(ish) until camp: 50

PS. If any of you were paying attention in yesterday's post, you will have noticed that I added something new to the countdown at the end of my post.  Do you see it up there?  Hmmm, I wonder what that means... ;)

Books for Days!

Well, what do you know about that.  I made it through five whole days of BEDA before I had to sit here and stare at a blinking cursor, for an extended period of time, with nothing to write about.  I think this is a new personal record!

OK, those of you who have been reading this blog for a while will remember back in 2010 when I set myself a goal to read 50 books in one year.  Do you guys remember that?  Wow, that was a long time ago.  Anyway, I decided the other day that I was going to try something similar this year.  Not a specific number this time, like fifty or anything.  But, this year, I just want to keep track of what books I read.  I want to kind of keep a running tally, just so that I can see, by the end of the year, how many I've read.  Does that make sense?

Anyway, I thought I would start by sharing what books I have read since the beginning of 2013:

1. The Maze Runner
2. The Scorch Trials
3. The Death Cure
4. Divergent
5. Insurgent
6. The Fault In Our Stars*

I am actually a little embarrassed that we're already a quarter of the way through 2013 and I've read so few books.  But I am going to start reading more again, and I will keep you updated periodically (maybe...) on how my book progress is going!

What are some great books that you've read recently? Let me know in the comments!

Days until summer: 12

Exams until summer: 3

Days until camp(ish): 51

PS. I feel like I need to add that this is still a personal challenge for me.  I want to push myself to read as many books as I can this year, I'm just not setting any kind of limit on myself.  But I do still want to try as hard as I can to read as many books as possible this year, and preferably a lot of new books, as opposed to rereading some old favourites.  Just wanted to clarify! :)

*I haven't actually finished this book yet, I have about 100 pages left. I am actually terrified to finish it because of all the feels that I know will accompany it.  And, I swear, if you spoil this book for me, I will hate you forever.

Advice Time!

Good afternoon lovebugs!  I am posting a little bit earlier today, because I am actually going out tonight and being social!  I'm not sure what time I'll be home and I'd rather post now and be safe than sorry.

OK, everyone, I need your help with something.  So, long story short, the pharmacy that I go to most often, for anything from makeup to toiletries to cleaning supplies and everything in between, is Shoppers Drugmart.  Those of you who have maybe never been to Shoppers before won't know that Shoppers has a reward points system, called Optimum Points.  Basically, every time you buy something from Shoppers, you get Optimum points.  Sometimes they have promotions, like 20X the points, to increase the number of points you get.  And, of course, once you get to certain numbers of points, you can redeem them for free stuff.  It's pretty basic, the same concept as pretty much anywhere else that has a reward system.

So I have been collecting Optimum points for as long as I can remember, since high school at least.  As of right now I have about 85,000 points, which was no easy feat.  To give you some frame of reference, redeeming 50,000 points is worth $85 and 95,000 points is worth $170.  I was kind of saving up to get to 95,000 points, which is the highest level of points you can redeem.  But, I mean, $170 is a whole lot of free stuff for one person to get from the drugstore at one time.  So I started thinking the other day that I could just redeem 50,000 points instead.  I mean, $85 is still of stuff to get from the drugstore!

Then, yesterday, I found out that this weeknd Shoppers is having a Spend Your Points event, where if you redeem 50,000 points you can get $100 instead.  I kind of feel like it could be fun to go on a little shopping spree, to treat myself to all kinds of new drugstore stuff, as a gift to myself for doing so well on my webpage, as well as just for getting through this semester.  And, I mean, it's not like I'm actually spending $100 of my own money.  The money has already been spent!  And the points will have to be redeemed eventually, so why not now?

I guess I'm just looking for someone to tell me that this is OK, that it's not ridiculous of me to redeem these points tomorrow.  Thoughts?

Days left of classes: 0!!

Days until summer: 12

Exams until summer: 3

I'm Pretty Amazing

OK, so today was pretty much the best day ever! I don't really like to brag about myself, but right now... yea, I'm going to brag about myself. So if you don't want to hear me tell you how awesome I am you should probably stop reading right now.

Let's start at the beginning.  As you may or may not know, I am a biochemistry major in university.  This means that, throughout my five years of university, I have had to do a lot of labs and lab writeups but I haven't written many papers.  And, while I like to think that I am pretty good at writing when it comes to things like this blog and NaNoWriMo, I know that I'm not very good at paper writing, especially research papers.

However, during my university career I have had to take some non-science electives and occassionally those classes include papers.  This semester, for example, I took a class called Religion and Pop Culture.  I know a few people who have taken it in the past and it sounded like a really interesting class, which it was!*  The only problem, of course, was that for this class, I had to write a paper.

The cool thing about this paper though is that it was not, in fact, a paper.  Not what you think of when you think of a "paper" at least.  I mean, it wasn't a typical Word document, double spaced, with X number of pages or so many words.  Instead, we had to make a webpage!  This was actually a brilliant idea!  Because the whole topic of the course was Pop Culture, our prof wanted this project to be more pop culture-related.  This means that, as well as having to do research and actually write words about what we had researched, we also got to include lots of pictures and videos and cool stuff like that, stuff that isn't normally included in a typical paper.

Anyway, this paper was due a couple weeks ago and, I have to say, while I thought I had done a decent job, I wasn't all the confident about what kind of mark I would get.  Like I said, I don't have a lot of experience with writing papers and I may or may not have left this webpage until pretty much the last minute, which I always do with everything.  The point is, I knew I had done an OK job but I wasn't expecting much more than that.

Well, today was the last class for this course, so it was the last chance for the prof to give the marks back for the webpage.  I was freaking out and hoping, seemingly against hope, that I had done enough to at least pass.  Finally, she calls out my name, and hands me back a page of notes** with the total mark on the bottom.  I squint my eyes as I look down, so that if I did poorly I won't really be able to see the mark, and I take in the final mark...

32.1/40

For those of you who are not as amazing at math as I am, let me help you out: this comes out to 80.25%.  I actually did really well on something that I not only tried hard on, but that I did completely by myself.  No one helped me write this, at all, except my mom did some proofreading, but that so does not count.

I have been completely over the moon, filled with joy all day, that I was actually capable of doing well, really well on something that I worked on completely by myself.  The only thing that could have made today better was if I had gotten that much-needed phone call I have been waiting for for way too long. So, there's that.

Days left of classes: 1!

Days until summer: 13

Exams until summer: 3

PS. Here's the link to my webpage, in case you want to see what all the hype is about!

Religion and Disney Movies

*We looked at how religion can be seen in Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Simpsons, South Park, Star Trek, Star Wars, Buffy and Twilight.  Very cool!

**I mean, you can't really hand back a website now, can you?

What Even Is This

I am sitting here in a weird state of half-formed ideas.  I have vague, not full ideas of things to write about, but I can't seem to get to the point in any of the ideas where I actually have something to write about.  I feel like, either late last night or early this morning I had a really good idea for a third day of BEDA but now I can't seem to remember what that idea was.  It'll probably come to me in the middle of the night, or while I'm in the shower.*

OK, let's just keep it all kinds of simple up in here.  So, earlier today, I posted a new video on youtube, called 50 Random Facts About Me! (you should go watch it right meow if you haven't already!)  Basically, the whole point of this video is to share with everyone a collection of fifty "random" things or facts about me.  I actually had quite a lot of fun with that video.  You know, coming up with a list of things to talk about.  I mean, fifty things about me are a lot of things to talk about!  Ten, fifteen, even twenty things about myself would be easy to come up with.  I'm sure I could do that, no problem!  But fifty?!  I mean, come on, that's not a list you can come up with off the top of your head!  I had to spend a lot of time, a week even, writing and re-writing my list of fifty things about myself that I wanted to talk about in this video.  However, even though it did take quite a bit of time and thought to come up with my list, I had so much fun doing it!  I got to kind of look at my life and think about all the small, silly things that are a part of my life.  All the small things that seem somewhat unimportant, or things from my childhood, things that I never really talk about, because they aren't really worthy of a conversation.  Anyway, I got to spend quite a bit of time reflecting on the not-so-big, not-so-important parts of my life, and I really enjoyed doing that.

I guess that's kind of what this blog is like.  No, I'm not going to share another fifty random facts about my life, mostly because I doubt I'd be able to think up another fifty things!  But, as I've always said, I do not want this blog to be a "this is what I did today" kind of blog.  Naturally, I will occassionaly recount a story of something that happened to me that day, by way of getting into whatever I want to talk about that day, but by and large, this blog has never and will never be about what I do each day.

Also, understandably, I am not likely to share a whole lot of my deep, dark, personal secrets.  Given that this is a public blog on the Internet, I have absolutely no control over who reads my blog, and I am not really too keen on having a bunch of randoms from goodness-knows-where knowing all kinds of personal stuff about my life.

OK, so I won't talk exclusively about what I do each day, and I won't share secrets about my personal life.  So where does that leave us, as far as this blog is concerned?  Well, I'd say it leaves us with the not-so-big, not-so-important bits of my life that aren't worthy of conversation.  And, while that might seem like you're getting the shaft, I think that that is a pretty sweet spot to be.  Personally, I think you're getting the best deal of anyone, don't you agree?

Days left of classes: 2

Days until summer: 14

Exams until summer: 3

PS. I'm not really sure where this started or how it got to... what it is.  But just go with it!

*The location of all good ideas and life choices.

Where Have You Been?

Now that we’ve gotten that awkward first date out of the way, let’s talk about this whole thing. So… BEDA?

Literally since the very first day I started this blog three years ago (THREE years!) BEDA has been part of my routine.  No matter what is going on in my life, no matter what happens during the other eleven months of the year, April has always been dedicated to thirty days of blogging.

However, what happens here during the other eleven months is still important.  It has absolutely no bearing on my decision to do BEDA, but it’s still important.  I feel like during the first two years of this blog, I did a fairly decent job of posting consistently in the months between each BEDA.  I’m not saying I was perfect, because no one is, but I never felt like I was overly neglecting my blog readers or my blog in general.  But those were the first two years.  The least year is a completely different story…

Let’s back up for a second.  To fully understand what’s been going on you need to know a little bit more about me.  I am a very obsessive person, I have a very addictive personality.  When I love something, I LOVE  it, and I take that love way too far.  Whatever it is that I love, it pretty much takes over all my free time, I am almost always thinking about it, and it’s just kind of always… there.  For example, when I first started this blog three years ago, I was really obsessed with it, wanting to post as often as possible, constantly thinking up new ideas for topics to post about.  Whenever I was away from my computer, I was always thinking about how many views it was getting, if any new comments had been posted.  You get what I mean; it takes over my life.

I have pretty much always been this way about things that I love: when I was younger, we had a completely separate building at my cottage where I kept my Barbies, because I had so many.  I also own every single thing that Mary-Kate and Ashely have ever put out... ever.  Over my twenty-three years, I have learned pretty well how to adapt to my obsessiveness.  The only real problem is that I can really only be obsessed with one thing at a time (for obvious reasons).

So, with that in mind, let's track my Internet obsessions over the last three years:

April 2010 to May 2012: this blog*

May 2012 to August 2012: camp**

September 2012 to mid-January 2013: youtube***

And this brings us to the last two and a half months, where I have not posted a single thing on here; I have still been making and posting youtube videos, but not as consistently as I was in the fall; and I haven't been at camp, so I can't use that as an excuse.  So, what have I been obsessed with this winter?

TUMBLR 

I made my first, original tumblr blog a couple years ago, but for a long time I never really got into it.  I'll admit, I didn't fully understand the concept of it, it kind of confused me (reblog was a word I had never heard before!) and I just didn't really see the appeal of it.  So, I had a tumblr, but it pretty much just sat there, collecting dust while I obsessed over other things.

Then, a little bit this past spring, but mostly this past fall, I finally got the hang of tumblr and I was hooked!  I found lots of funny blogs to follow, I finally understood what reblogging was, and I was off!

I was frequently on tumblr during the fall, but it wasn't an obsession, it was just another way to pass the time and to procrastinate from school.  Plus, a lot of it made me laugh.  But then, sometime in December I think, I somehow started following some health and fitness blogs (called fitblrs) and I discovered this whole new side of tumblr: all of these fitblrs who were trying to get healthy, and were all trying to help each other.  It was this giant community and I knew right away that I wanted in.

In mid-January (right before my birthday, actually) I made my own fitblr and I have been beyond obsessed with it ever since.  I am constantly thinking of the motivational quotes I reblog, all the yummy recipes I can find, new workouts that I see.  I actually care about how many followers I have and I am often trying to get more (I passed 1,000 last week and my brain exploded a little bit).  Basically, if I am on my computer, tumblr is open. (I will link both my tumblrs down below!)

So... that's where I have been the last eleven months when I haven't really been posting on here.  I really hope this new insight into what goes on in my brain will result in you not getting upset when I don't post on here often enough.  It doesn't mean I don't love you, it just means that there is somewhere else on the Internet that is getting too much of my attention (you can always tweet me to find out where that is!)

Days left of classes: 3

Days until summer: 15

Exams until summer: 3

PERSONAL TUMBLR

FITBLR

*I did have other Internet projects during those two years, like starting my youtube channel, but I was the most consistent here than anywhere else.

**Honestly, over this past summer, I hardly used to Internet at all, other than to communicate with people outside of camp.  I look at it as just a small speedbump in my Internet journey.

***During this past fall, I became more invested in my youtube channel than I had ever been.  I was posting a new video, most of the time, every three days!  It was a new way to use this creative outlet and I was thriving.