(Almost) Summer!!

Good thing I just looked at the clock on my computer because I currently only have nine minutes left to get this up before midnight!  Yikes!

So earlier this afternoon I wrote my physiology final which was... a thing that happened.  I really don't have even any idea how I did, all I know is that I didn't feel as bad afterwards as I thought I would, so that's a plus.  It was all multiple choice and I am just praying that I got enough answers right to pass the course, because if I didn't... it's a two-semester course, so that would add a whole nother year to my degree.  And after already being in university for five years I am burnt out.  Can't even deal with the idea of another year.

My last final is at noon tomorrow and it was by far the one I am least worried about.  It is my religion and pop culture class, the one I had to do the webpage for, that I got a really good mark on.  I pretty much just have to show up tomorrrow and I'll get the credit, which is really all I care about.  Plus, the exam is essay questions, which are much easier to BS than multiple choice questions.

That's it for today!  Starting tomorrow, for the rest of the month, the posts will be back to my normal style.  Thanks for sticking with me through a very difficult and trying exam period!

Days until summer: 1!

Exams until summer: 1!

Days until camp: 41

xo

OVERWHELMED!

So I am an emotional mess right now.  My second final exam is tomorrow, in human physiology, and I do not feel at all prepared for it, not as prepared as I probably should be at least.  So, because of that, I already don't want to write anything today, except that I am OCD and have an innate need to please everyone, so there's no way I can miss a day.

And then I came home from work and heard about the bombings that happened in Boston, on the route of Boston Marathon, and now I feel like anything I write needs to be about that.  But I am way too tired and stressed and overwhelmed right now to even be able to form coherent thoughts, let alone write anything good.  So I am going to just end it here today, because, for another day in a row... I just can't even.

Days until summer: 2

Exams until summer: 2

Days until camp: 42

#PrayForBoston

xo

Real Life

Guys, I'm really sorry about this, but tonight I just... I just can't.  I am feeling very overwhelmed by everything: school, summer, finding a subletter for four months, health stuff.  There's just a lot going on in my life right now and it all kind of came crashing down on me today.  I hope you understand that sometimes real life just gets in the way of everything else.  I love you all and I will (hopefully) be back tomorrow with a regular post.

Days until summer: 3

Exams until summer: 2

Days until camp: 43

xo

FooooodsDay!

While I was cooking supper tonight, I started thinking about all the different ways that people can eat their food.  I mean, we're all different people and we all have different tastes, so it makes sense that we like lots of different things, food-wise.  For example, some people like to put ketchup on their macaroni and cheese; some like to put maple syrup on their bacon or breakfast sausage (...guilty!).

What I think is the weirdest is the way in which we deem certain tastes "acceptable" and others not at all acceptable.  Like, although lots of people find the idea of putting ketchup on their macaroni and cheese not at all appetizing, it has been deemed somewhat socially acceptable and most people usually don't freak out when someone else does it.  But, when I tell people that I don't put milk on my cereal, everyone absolutely freaks out!  Seriously, it's like people are incapable of understanding how I could like to eat my cereal in a way that isn't normal.

Here's the thing: I do not like the taste of milk.  I never have and I probably never will.  I'm sorry if that makes me a picky eater but it's just one of those things that I don't like.  So, because of my dislike for milk, I have never put milk on my cereal.  In my opinion, it completely ruins the taste of the cereal.  For me, having never put milk or any other kind of liquid on my cereal, cereal is not meant to be mushy and soft, it's kind of crunchy.  Sometimes, when I eat granola, I put yogurt on it, but that's about as far as I've ever gone.

Anyway, when people find out that I eat my cereal plain, they lose their minds.  I know it isn't normal, but it is by far not the weirdest thing a person has ever eaten.  But people try to tell me that I'm wrong, somehow, that I'm not eating my cereal the way I'm supposed to.  Like, sorry not sorry that I do something a little different than how you think it should be done.  But it's really not the end ofthe world.

Let me know in the comments if there's anything you eat that other people don't consider normal, I'd love to know!

Days until summer: 4

Exams until summer: 2

Days until camp: 44

PS. I also mix normal white milk with chocolate milk, because I don't like white milk by itself and I find chocolate milk to be too chocolatey.  I've been doing this for as long as I can remember and I used to think it was weird, until I came to university and found quite a few other people who do it as well!  Have you ever mixed milks?  Let me know!

A Thing That Happened

I am so tired and all I want to do is go to bed right meow but then I remembered that I have to write something so here we are.

I am currently watching the series finale of 7th Heaven and I want to write something about finales and shows ending and all that jazz but I really am too tired to give that topic the thought and effort it deserves so maybe I'll save it for later.

I wrote my first of three final exams this morning and it was... a thing that happened.  I think it went OK, but we will see.  Either way it's over now and I am pretty pleased about that.  The next exam I have is on Tuesday, it's human physiology and I seriously need to get my study on for that baby, so we all know what I'll be doing tomorrow!

Sorry of this post is super lame but I am just very, very tired and all I want to do now is sleep until the end of time.  Meet me there?

Let me know in the comments anything interesting or exciting that has happened to you recently!  I'd love to know :)

Days until summer: 5

Exams until summer: 2

Days until camp: 45

xo

Reasons

Today's post is going to be much shorter than all my BEDA 2013 blogs so far, for a few different reasons.  One, all I did today was study and I didn't even leave my house.  This means that I have less than nothing to talk about.  Usually I hear something or see something* or think something that leads to a good blog topic.  Not today, though, because I didn't even leave the house.

The other reason this post will be short is because my first final exam is at 9 o'clock tomorrow morning, so I pretty much cannot procrastinate anymore!  I've studied everything, I don't really think there's anything else I'm going to review tonight.  But I still need to shower and get ready for bed, and I want to get to bed at a decent hour so I can get enough sleep and be well rested to destroy this nutrition exam!

So, on that note, I am going to end my rambling and typing and words and English now.  I love you all and I'll talk to you tomorrow when I will be one third done my exams.

Days until summer: 6

Exams until summer: 3

Days until camp: 46

PS. I will leave you with this article I found today about Sandy Hook.  Be prepared for a whole lot of the feels.

*Not usually see, though, because I am so freaking blind.  Seriously, it's bad.

Society's Rules

I'm not sure where this comes from, but I feel like in our society these days, there is only one aqcceptable way to make the transition from teenager to adult: graduate high school, take four years to do a university degree, get your master's, find that amazing job that leads to a career, get married and have kids.  I'm sure this pre-approved way of life is not anything new, I am just fully realising it now because it directly affects me.

As I said, I don't know who came up with it, who decided that that was the way, the only way to live your life and any deviation from the norm was to be frowned upon and not accepted.  But it was definitely a very present stigma in our society.  For example, when I tell people that I am in my fifth year of university, I immediately expect them to judge me: I must not be smart enough to do my B.Sc. in four years; I must be too poor to afford the tuition of a full course load.  I doubt people actually think that, especially fellow students who understand all too well just how difficult university is these days.

I'm not sure where I'm going with this, other than that I am feeling the pressure now more than ever to adhere to society's very strict rules of how to live your life.  I know it's my life and there are likely more people out there who disagree with this "norm" than there are people who judge those who don't follow it.  Even just looking at my group of friends, I have several other friends who started university the same year as me who are in their fifth year; two of my good friends got married almost three years ago, while they were both still in school, and they have a son and another child on the way.  I can actually count on one hand the number of people I know personally who finished their bachelor's degree in four years.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel like society in general has created some sort of normal way of living life that everyone is supposed to follow, and that I am not following at all.  This often makes me feel like I have somehow failed as a person or something, which I know is absolutely beyond ridiculous.  How I choose to live my life, how many years I spend doing my undergrad, what I choose as a career, all of that is my choice, it's up to me, and as long as it makes me happy then I don't really care what society thinks of my life.

Let me know if the comments if you ever feel this kind of pressure from society to live your life a certain way.

Days until summer: 7

Exams until summer: 3

Days until camp: 47

xo

Why I Do What I Do

I tend to go through periods of being very secure and very insecure about my presence on the Internet.  When I say presence, I mostly mean my youtube channel.  I have been posting videos for over two and a half years, and I don't even have a hundred subscribers, not even close.  And, I mean, I didn't start making videos with the hopes of becoming "youtube famous".  Honestly, I'm not really sure why I started making videos.  I remember when I decided to start making videos, but I don't remember why.  I feel like I saw it as a challenge and as a new creative outlet and those two things together intrigued me a whole lot.

Anyway, when I first started making videos, I never did it with the hopes of becoming famous on youtube, nor did I plan to make money from it, or have making videos be my job.  I started because the whole concept seemed interesting.  And, for the past two and a half years, I have continued to make videos because I genuinely enjoy it, I find it very fun.  Sometimes I have these thoughts, where I think to myself, "Why on earth do I film myself talking to a video camera, alone in my room, and then post it on the Internet for anyone to see?  And why is that completely normal?!"  However, ninety-nine percent of the time I absolutely making videos, and it has become a pretty big part of my life.

The downside, though, is that I still have so few subscribers.  Like I said, I never thought I would get millions of subscribers, or that lots of other people would know who I was.  But, I mean, I guess I kind of figured after over two years of making videos, I would have at least a thousand subscribers.  I mean, that doesn't seem too unreasonable to me.

Having so few subscribers, and having my videos getting so little attention has often lead me to think that I'm boring, that I'm not interesting, that I should just stop making videos.  I mean, I don't want to stop making videos, by any means, and I know that it doesn't matter if other people watch me, because I make videos because they make me happy, not because it makes other people happy.  And, I mean, worst case scenario, I know my mom will always watch my videos (she still doesn't understand youtube...).

But then, today, I was talking to one of the girls I work with, and she was telling me that she just discovered last night that I had a youtube channel, and she went and watched a bunch of my videos and she loved them and she subscribed and she said she found them very entertaining.  And, frankly, I believed her.  If she hadn't liked my videos, she could have just never mentioned to me that she had found my channel and I would have been none the wiser.  But she made it a point to tell me that she had found my channel and liked my videos.  So, I mean, if she can find them and like them, why can't other people?  I suppose I could actually try to advertise my channel to other youtubers and try to draw traffic to my channel.  But, if there's one thing I've learned from watching youtube, it is that other youtubers hate when you try to market yourself on their channel or in the comments of their videos.  So, I mean, talking about myself in comments will make people hate me and then they definitely won't check out my channel.

So, I guess what this all means is that for now the best I can do is continue to post videos that I enjoy, about whatever I want, and know that everything happens for a reason.  So, if I am meant to have a lot of followers, then the right people will find my channel and help support me.  And, if not, I will still continue to make videos just for me (and my mom).

What about you?  Let me know in the comments if you have ever been in a similar situation (that was very vague... just leave me a comment!!)

Days until summer: 8

Exams until summer: 3

Days until camp: 48

xo

Waaaaaterbottle!

Guys, I have no sweet clue what to write about today!  Today was the first day of "no school, study for exams, hate your life" time, so all I did was procrastinate all morning (classic me) and work at the pool all afternoon.  Nothing blog-worthy happened at all today...

So I was just sitting here, trying to come up with something to write about, and I was talking to my roommate Jenny about waterbottles.  I am very pro-waterbottle, I pretty much always have one with me.  I have this great Nalgene that I got a couple years ago from Canadian Tire, it's green and super durable and just all around awesome.  I like to have it with me all the time, and it's great for work or class or the gym.  It's not so great for at home, though, just because it's kind of big and clunky to carry around the house.  I have tried just using a regular glass, but we don't have an excess of glasses in our house* and it seems silly to constantly be using one just for water.  Plus, the ones we have aren't huge, so I would constantly go back and forth to the kitchen to fill it up.

Anyway, yesterday while I was at Shoppers, I picked up a a tumbler (not the website!), I'll insert a picture below.  It's hard to explain, but basically it's plastic, insulated, has a lid and straw, plus it is just super cute and colourful!  I'm sure you could put any beverage in it, but all I've used it for is water, plus some ice!  I hate having ice in a glass when I'm not using a straw, because all the ice just ends up hitting me in the face (y'all know what I'm talking about!) but I like ice, because it keeps my water colder for longer.  Hey, did you know that ice cold water makes your metabolism work extra hard, to warm the water up to your body's temperature!  Sweet!  So if you're going to drink water (which you should because it keeps you alive!!!) drink colder water, it makes your body work even harder!

Anyway... what was I talking about?  Oh yea, I bought a plastic tumbler for my water when I'm at home.  The funny thing is, I love using this tumbler so much, that I have probably had a solid seven liters of water in the last 24 hours.  Which, I mean, is great, because water is so great for you!  But I have literally had to pee every twenty minutes, which is not so convenient for my life.  So, there's that.

This was another one of my rambley posts, wasn't it?  Um... oops? #sorrynotsorry

Days until summer: 9

Exams until summer: 3

Days until camp: 49 (training starts seven weeks today!!)

*I mean, there's five of us living here, so there's never enough of anything!  Except spoons.  We have 18,362 spoons. Legit.

my new tumbler! excuse how ratchet I look... :|

 

Treats for Self

You know what's fun?  Trying to come up with something interesting and original to write about every single day for thirty days.  You know what's even more fun?  Realizing that today is only day 7, and that I am barely a quarter of the way through BEDA. #yikes

So this afternoon, after church, I took a little, very windy walk down to Shoppers Drugmart and went on a little shopping spree!  I am still justifying this by saying that I didn't spend any money (except the taxes) and that I was going to have to use the points up eventually, so why not today?  Plus, it was a gift to myself for finishing the semester and getting through another year of school!  So, with that being said, I am now going to insert some pictures of the stuff I got:

can't forget about the study snacks! a necessity

Those are the things I picked up on my little shopping spree today.  If you have any questions about anything I bought, you can ask down in the comments!  Also, while you're down there, let me know if you ever buy anything special for yourself at the end of a semester or school year!

Days until summer: 10

Exams until summer: 3

Days(ish) until camp: 50

PS. If any of you were paying attention in yesterday's post, you will have noticed that I added something new to the countdown at the end of my post.  Do you see it up there?  Hmmm, I wonder what that means... ;)

Books for Days!

Well, what do you know about that.  I made it through five whole days of BEDA before I had to sit here and stare at a blinking cursor, for an extended period of time, with nothing to write about.  I think this is a new personal record!

OK, those of you who have been reading this blog for a while will remember back in 2010 when I set myself a goal to read 50 books in one year.  Do you guys remember that?  Wow, that was a long time ago.  Anyway, I decided the other day that I was going to try something similar this year.  Not a specific number this time, like fifty or anything.  But, this year, I just want to keep track of what books I read.  I want to kind of keep a running tally, just so that I can see, by the end of the year, how many I've read.  Does that make sense?

Anyway, I thought I would start by sharing what books I have read since the beginning of 2013:

1. The Maze Runner
2. The Scorch Trials
3. The Death Cure
4. Divergent
5. Insurgent
6. The Fault In Our Stars*

I am actually a little embarrassed that we're already a quarter of the way through 2013 and I've read so few books.  But I am going to start reading more again, and I will keep you updated periodically (maybe...) on how my book progress is going!

What are some great books that you've read recently? Let me know in the comments!

Days until summer: 12

Exams until summer: 3

Days until camp(ish): 51

PS. I feel like I need to add that this is still a personal challenge for me.  I want to push myself to read as many books as I can this year, I'm just not setting any kind of limit on myself.  But I do still want to try as hard as I can to read as many books as possible this year, and preferably a lot of new books, as opposed to rereading some old favourites.  Just wanted to clarify! :)

*I haven't actually finished this book yet, I have about 100 pages left. I am actually terrified to finish it because of all the feels that I know will accompany it.  And, I swear, if you spoil this book for me, I will hate you forever.

Advice Time!

Good afternoon lovebugs!  I am posting a little bit earlier today, because I am actually going out tonight and being social!  I'm not sure what time I'll be home and I'd rather post now and be safe than sorry.

OK, everyone, I need your help with something.  So, long story short, the pharmacy that I go to most often, for anything from makeup to toiletries to cleaning supplies and everything in between, is Shoppers Drugmart.  Those of you who have maybe never been to Shoppers before won't know that Shoppers has a reward points system, called Optimum Points.  Basically, every time you buy something from Shoppers, you get Optimum points.  Sometimes they have promotions, like 20X the points, to increase the number of points you get.  And, of course, once you get to certain numbers of points, you can redeem them for free stuff.  It's pretty basic, the same concept as pretty much anywhere else that has a reward system.

So I have been collecting Optimum points for as long as I can remember, since high school at least.  As of right now I have about 85,000 points, which was no easy feat.  To give you some frame of reference, redeeming 50,000 points is worth $85 and 95,000 points is worth $170.  I was kind of saving up to get to 95,000 points, which is the highest level of points you can redeem.  But, I mean, $170 is a whole lot of free stuff for one person to get from the drugstore at one time.  So I started thinking the other day that I could just redeem 50,000 points instead.  I mean, $85 is still of stuff to get from the drugstore!

Then, yesterday, I found out that this weeknd Shoppers is having a Spend Your Points event, where if you redeem 50,000 points you can get $100 instead.  I kind of feel like it could be fun to go on a little shopping spree, to treat myself to all kinds of new drugstore stuff, as a gift to myself for doing so well on my webpage, as well as just for getting through this semester.  And, I mean, it's not like I'm actually spending $100 of my own money.  The money has already been spent!  And the points will have to be redeemed eventually, so why not now?

I guess I'm just looking for someone to tell me that this is OK, that it's not ridiculous of me to redeem these points tomorrow.  Thoughts?

Days left of classes: 0!!

Days until summer: 12

Exams until summer: 3

I'm Pretty Amazing

OK, so today was pretty much the best day ever! I don't really like to brag about myself, but right now... yea, I'm going to brag about myself. So if you don't want to hear me tell you how awesome I am you should probably stop reading right now.

Let's start at the beginning.  As you may or may not know, I am a biochemistry major in university.  This means that, throughout my five years of university, I have had to do a lot of labs and lab writeups but I haven't written many papers.  And, while I like to think that I am pretty good at writing when it comes to things like this blog and NaNoWriMo, I know that I'm not very good at paper writing, especially research papers.

However, during my university career I have had to take some non-science electives and occassionally those classes include papers.  This semester, for example, I took a class called Religion and Pop Culture.  I know a few people who have taken it in the past and it sounded like a really interesting class, which it was!*  The only problem, of course, was that for this class, I had to write a paper.

The cool thing about this paper though is that it was not, in fact, a paper.  Not what you think of when you think of a "paper" at least.  I mean, it wasn't a typical Word document, double spaced, with X number of pages or so many words.  Instead, we had to make a webpage!  This was actually a brilliant idea!  Because the whole topic of the course was Pop Culture, our prof wanted this project to be more pop culture-related.  This means that, as well as having to do research and actually write words about what we had researched, we also got to include lots of pictures and videos and cool stuff like that, stuff that isn't normally included in a typical paper.

Anyway, this paper was due a couple weeks ago and, I have to say, while I thought I had done a decent job, I wasn't all the confident about what kind of mark I would get.  Like I said, I don't have a lot of experience with writing papers and I may or may not have left this webpage until pretty much the last minute, which I always do with everything.  The point is, I knew I had done an OK job but I wasn't expecting much more than that.

Well, today was the last class for this course, so it was the last chance for the prof to give the marks back for the webpage.  I was freaking out and hoping, seemingly against hope, that I had done enough to at least pass.  Finally, she calls out my name, and hands me back a page of notes** with the total mark on the bottom.  I squint my eyes as I look down, so that if I did poorly I won't really be able to see the mark, and I take in the final mark...

32.1/40

For those of you who are not as amazing at math as I am, let me help you out: this comes out to 80.25%.  I actually did really well on something that I not only tried hard on, but that I did completely by myself.  No one helped me write this, at all, except my mom did some proofreading, but that so does not count.

I have been completely over the moon, filled with joy all day, that I was actually capable of doing well, really well on something that I worked on completely by myself.  The only thing that could have made today better was if I had gotten that much-needed phone call I have been waiting for for way too long. So, there's that.

Days left of classes: 1!

Days until summer: 13

Exams until summer: 3

PS. Here's the link to my webpage, in case you want to see what all the hype is about!

Religion and Disney Movies

*We looked at how religion can be seen in Harry Potter, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Simpsons, South Park, Star Trek, Star Wars, Buffy and Twilight.  Very cool!

**I mean, you can't really hand back a website now, can you?

What Even Is This

I am sitting here in a weird state of half-formed ideas.  I have vague, not full ideas of things to write about, but I can't seem to get to the point in any of the ideas where I actually have something to write about.  I feel like, either late last night or early this morning I had a really good idea for a third day of BEDA but now I can't seem to remember what that idea was.  It'll probably come to me in the middle of the night, or while I'm in the shower.*

OK, let's just keep it all kinds of simple up in here.  So, earlier today, I posted a new video on youtube, called 50 Random Facts About Me! (you should go watch it right meow if you haven't already!)  Basically, the whole point of this video is to share with everyone a collection of fifty "random" things or facts about me.  I actually had quite a lot of fun with that video.  You know, coming up with a list of things to talk about.  I mean, fifty things about me are a lot of things to talk about!  Ten, fifteen, even twenty things about myself would be easy to come up with.  I'm sure I could do that, no problem!  But fifty?!  I mean, come on, that's not a list you can come up with off the top of your head!  I had to spend a lot of time, a week even, writing and re-writing my list of fifty things about myself that I wanted to talk about in this video.  However, even though it did take quite a bit of time and thought to come up with my list, I had so much fun doing it!  I got to kind of look at my life and think about all the small, silly things that are a part of my life.  All the small things that seem somewhat unimportant, or things from my childhood, things that I never really talk about, because they aren't really worthy of a conversation.  Anyway, I got to spend quite a bit of time reflecting on the not-so-big, not-so-important parts of my life, and I really enjoyed doing that.

I guess that's kind of what this blog is like.  No, I'm not going to share another fifty random facts about my life, mostly because I doubt I'd be able to think up another fifty things!  But, as I've always said, I do not want this blog to be a "this is what I did today" kind of blog.  Naturally, I will occassionaly recount a story of something that happened to me that day, by way of getting into whatever I want to talk about that day, but by and large, this blog has never and will never be about what I do each day.

Also, understandably, I am not likely to share a whole lot of my deep, dark, personal secrets.  Given that this is a public blog on the Internet, I have absolutely no control over who reads my blog, and I am not really too keen on having a bunch of randoms from goodness-knows-where knowing all kinds of personal stuff about my life.

OK, so I won't talk exclusively about what I do each day, and I won't share secrets about my personal life.  So where does that leave us, as far as this blog is concerned?  Well, I'd say it leaves us with the not-so-big, not-so-important bits of my life that aren't worthy of conversation.  And, while that might seem like you're getting the shaft, I think that that is a pretty sweet spot to be.  Personally, I think you're getting the best deal of anyone, don't you agree?

Days left of classes: 2

Days until summer: 14

Exams until summer: 3

PS. I'm not really sure where this started or how it got to... what it is.  But just go with it!

*The location of all good ideas and life choices.

Where Have You Been?

Now that we’ve gotten that awkward first date out of the way, let’s talk about this whole thing. So… BEDA?

Literally since the very first day I started this blog three years ago (THREE years!) BEDA has been part of my routine.  No matter what is going on in my life, no matter what happens during the other eleven months of the year, April has always been dedicated to thirty days of blogging.

However, what happens here during the other eleven months is still important.  It has absolutely no bearing on my decision to do BEDA, but it’s still important.  I feel like during the first two years of this blog, I did a fairly decent job of posting consistently in the months between each BEDA.  I’m not saying I was perfect, because no one is, but I never felt like I was overly neglecting my blog readers or my blog in general.  But those were the first two years.  The least year is a completely different story…

Let’s back up for a second.  To fully understand what’s been going on you need to know a little bit more about me.  I am a very obsessive person, I have a very addictive personality.  When I love something, I LOVE  it, and I take that love way too far.  Whatever it is that I love, it pretty much takes over all my free time, I am almost always thinking about it, and it’s just kind of always… there.  For example, when I first started this blog three years ago, I was really obsessed with it, wanting to post as often as possible, constantly thinking up new ideas for topics to post about.  Whenever I was away from my computer, I was always thinking about how many views it was getting, if any new comments had been posted.  You get what I mean; it takes over my life.

I have pretty much always been this way about things that I love: when I was younger, we had a completely separate building at my cottage where I kept my Barbies, because I had so many.  I also own every single thing that Mary-Kate and Ashely have ever put out... ever.  Over my twenty-three years, I have learned pretty well how to adapt to my obsessiveness.  The only real problem is that I can really only be obsessed with one thing at a time (for obvious reasons).

So, with that in mind, let's track my Internet obsessions over the last three years:

April 2010 to May 2012: this blog*

May 2012 to August 2012: camp**

September 2012 to mid-January 2013: youtube***

And this brings us to the last two and a half months, where I have not posted a single thing on here; I have still been making and posting youtube videos, but not as consistently as I was in the fall; and I haven't been at camp, so I can't use that as an excuse.  So, what have I been obsessed with this winter?

TUMBLR 

I made my first, original tumblr blog a couple years ago, but for a long time I never really got into it.  I'll admit, I didn't fully understand the concept of it, it kind of confused me (reblog was a word I had never heard before!) and I just didn't really see the appeal of it.  So, I had a tumblr, but it pretty much just sat there, collecting dust while I obsessed over other things.

Then, a little bit this past spring, but mostly this past fall, I finally got the hang of tumblr and I was hooked!  I found lots of funny blogs to follow, I finally understood what reblogging was, and I was off!

I was frequently on tumblr during the fall, but it wasn't an obsession, it was just another way to pass the time and to procrastinate from school.  Plus, a lot of it made me laugh.  But then, sometime in December I think, I somehow started following some health and fitness blogs (called fitblrs) and I discovered this whole new side of tumblr: all of these fitblrs who were trying to get healthy, and were all trying to help each other.  It was this giant community and I knew right away that I wanted in.

In mid-January (right before my birthday, actually) I made my own fitblr and I have been beyond obsessed with it ever since.  I am constantly thinking of the motivational quotes I reblog, all the yummy recipes I can find, new workouts that I see.  I actually care about how many followers I have and I am often trying to get more (I passed 1,000 last week and my brain exploded a little bit).  Basically, if I am on my computer, tumblr is open. (I will link both my tumblrs down below!)

So... that's where I have been the last eleven months when I haven't really been posting on here.  I really hope this new insight into what goes on in my brain will result in you not getting upset when I don't post on here often enough.  It doesn't mean I don't love you, it just means that there is somewhere else on the Internet that is getting too much of my attention (you can always tweet me to find out where that is!)

Days left of classes: 3

Days until summer: 15

Exams until summer: 3

PERSONAL TUMBLR

FITBLR

*I did have other Internet projects during those two years, like starting my youtube channel, but I was the most consistent here than anywhere else.

**Honestly, over this past summer, I hardly used to Internet at all, other than to communicate with people outside of camp.  I look at it as just a small speedbump in my Internet journey.

***During this past fall, I became more invested in my youtube channel than I had ever been.  I was posting a new video, most of the time, every three days!  It was a new way to use this creative outlet and I was thriving.

BEDA 2013: Off to a Great Start!

I have had this post planned out in my head for close to two weeks now. It was going to be long, but not too long, because I don't want to bore you.  It was going to be just the right mix of hilarious, witty, intelligent and goofy.  It was going to make you laugh (as everything I say and do often has the effect* of making people laugh) but simultaneously make you think about life- your life as well as life in general- in a completely new way, in a way you never thought possible.  And somewhere, in between all this hilarious, deep, witty laughter, I was going to explain to you why I have pretty much ignored this blog for the last eleven months.  I was going to tell you what you can expect from me in the next thrity days, as we embark on BEDA ROUND FOUR together.  I was even going to tell you where else on the Internet you can find me this month, and every month.

Now, you may be asking yourself why I am telling you how great this post was supposed to be, how well planned out it was in my head.  You may be wondering why I am telling you what I wanted this to be instead of making it what I wanted it to be.  Well, my friends, the reason is that once again, I have pulled a Seana.

(If you don't know what pulling a Seana is, you do not know me well enough at all)

In this specific case, I have a peer review assignment due tomorrow for my religious studies course.  I have known about this assignment since the first class of the semester and could have started it two weeks ago, when my peers and I all submitted the larger assignments that we are now peer reviewing.  I have had exactly two weeks to do a not-very-difficult assignment that affects not only my grade, but the grades of five of my peers.  It's due tomorrow morning. Naturally, I started it tonight.

The morale of the story, the thread that ties all of this together, is that I spent all evening working on this assignment and not on writing the fabulous BEDA post I wanted to write.**  I didn't want to rush through the amazing post I had planned, and not give it the proper time and energy it so deserves.

So this post, whatever else it might be, serves as the introduction to BEDA 2013.  It's about to get wild up in here!

PS. The real intro post that I wanted to write will be up tomorrow. Sit tight, loyal readers.

Days left of classes: 4

Days until summer: 16

Exams until summer: 3

*I'm pretty sure it's effect and not affect although, full disclosure, I'm still not quite sure what the difference is. You heard it here, folks!

**For once, I actually got my priorities semi right. Proud of me, mom?

...Oops?

Hey... how's it going?  How you doin'?  You come here often?

Because I obviously don't.

Rememeber that time I didn't blog for over two months... yeeeea.  I don't even have a decent excuse!  I mean, I've been in school but I haven't been overwhelmed by it (at least, not any more than usual).  I have been making a lot more videos and posting them more consistently, but that isn't a huge time suck.  And, of course, I'm doing NaNoWriMo* this year, but that's only been for the past two and a half weeks; what was I doing the other five and a half weeks??!

I think the issue is that I like to have a specific topic to blog about.  It doesn't have to be really deep or anything elaborate or crazy intense.  But there has to be some point to why I'm writing.  I really don't want to write "this is what I did today" type posts.  I mean, I wouldn't want to read that, so why would I expect other people to want to read that?**  Even when I was doing BEDA and blogging every single day for a month, there was hardly ever a blog that didn't have a point.  Even if the point was "tonight, I watched Titanic with my roommates, it was fun, I'm going to miss them this summer" there was still some general theme or topic of the post.  Anyway, in the last couple months, I haven't had anything specific I wanted to blog about.  Maybe this is because I have been making more videos, so I've been saying what I want to say there instead of here, I don't know.  But what I do know is that I really enjoy this blog.  I enjoy writing it and I enjoy knowing that people read it, and I really enjoy when those people leave comments (hint).  So I'm going to try my best not to neglect this for the rest of the year.  I'm not going to make any kinds of promises or anything, but I can say this will not be the last post of 2012.  I refuse to let that happen.

As always, if you have ideas for possible blog topics, leave them down in the comments. :)

love <3 br="br">

*As I'm writing this, I'm at just over 32,000 words, so I have eleven days to write 18,000 words.  No problem.

**If you really want to know what I do each day, check my twitter.

So You Think You Can See

I've never really gone into a lot of detail here about my childhood and my teen years.  I'm a much different person now than I was ten years ago, or even five years ago, and I usually don't see a lot of reason to dwell on that part of my life.  Those of you who know me probably have some idea as to the things I went through in my preteen and teen years (and if you don't you can ask; I'm pretty open about it all).

Anyway, this story starts in the spring of 2004.  I'd already been through some pretty tough stuff, but things were finally starting to look up; I could finally see the light at the end of this horrible tunnel I'd been stuck in for over three years.

At this point I was fourteen years old, in the last couple months of grade eight.  I was excited to finally be done with middle school, and I was really looking forward to high school, to all the new experiences that would come with a new school.

I woke up one April morning (I can't remember the day of the week) and thought it was going to be like any other day.  I started getting ready for school: I showered, got dressed, ate breakfast, brushed my teeth, did my hair.  Just before it was time to leave for the school bus, I was putting on some makeup.*  I closed my left eye to put on some eyeliner, no problem.  But then, when I closed my right eye, I couldn't see anything.  It was completely black.  I knew this wasn't normal.  I blinked a few times, rubbed my eye, looked around for a huge eyelash, or anything that could be preventing me from seeing, but there was nothing.  I tried again but still couldn't see anything from my left eye.  This was when I knew there was a problem.

I went and told my mom, and she told me that I already had an optometrist appointment booked for the next week.  Personally, I think she thought I was making up and/or exaggerating what was happening.  I've asked her about it since, and she says she believed me, but I was pretty dramatic back then** and I don't think I would have believed me.

Anyway, a couple weeks later, I went and saw my optometrist.  First, he checked my right eye, with the chart of letters, and I was fine, no problem, almost 20/20 vision.  Then he covered my right eye, so he could check my left.  He asked me if I could read the letters, and I told him I couldn't, that it was all black.  He adjusted the chart and asked me again, and I said it was still all balck.  He did some tests on my eye, and some looking around, and he told me there was definitely a problem.  Unfortunately, because he was just a check-up optometrist who gives out prescriptions for glasses, he didn't have any of the equipment necessary to determine what exactly was wrong with my eye.  So he referred me to an opthamologist who was right in my town.  I went and saw him that same day, and he told me there was something wrong with my retina (at the back of the eye; it sends the image you see to your brain, so you know what you're seeing).

I was referred by the opthamologist to see a retinal specialist at a hospital in Scarborough.  He told me that there was scar tissue on my retina (basically, there was a scar on the inside of my eyeball).  He then referred me to another retinal specialist, at Toronto Western Hospital in downtown Toronto.  When I finally went to see him, he told me I would have to have surgery on my eye, so they could remove the scar.  It was probably late May or early June when I saw him for the first time, and he wanted me to have the surgery as soon as possible.  But, I was spending most of that summer at camp (duh) so we were able to postpone to surgery until the fall.

The surgery itself wasn't that bad.  I had already had four other surgeries, so I was kind of used to the whole process.***  Plus, it was a day surgery, so I was able to go home that same day; I didn't have to spend the night at the hospital.  But, it was the recovery that was a real problem.  When they took the scar tissue out of my retina, they put a bubble in my eye to protect my retina so that new tissue could grow.  But, if I was sitting normally, the bubble would float to the top of my eye and my retina wouldn't be protected at all.  This meant that, for the two weeks following my surgery, I had to be face down basically all the time, so the bubble could go to the back of my eye and my retina could heal.

We were able to borrow a portable massage table from a neighbour and I spent most of my time lying on that.  I also had a lot of visitors every day: friends, family, people from our church.  Honestly, I don't remember how I ate or went to the bathroom or even walked around my house when I was bent over, face down, all day every day.  I was only allowed to lift my head for brief amounts of time every morning and night, when I had to get eye drops.  I was also back and forth to the hospital every day or every other day.  It was an hour drive, at least, each way.  I don't remember how I spent that much time in a car, being face down.

Even after those two weeks were up, my recovery wasn't over.  I had to wear sunglasses all day every day for another three months**** and I couldn't do any physical activity.  I was also at the hospital again once every week or ten days.  It was definitely the hardest six months of my life so far, and I was in a very dark place.  I was not a happy person.  The worst part was, the surgery didn't even work.  I still can't see out of my left eye.  I suppose they could do it again, try again, but... there's no way I'm going through all that again.

Anyway, the reason I'm telling you all this is because that surgery was eight years ago today.  Although I can still only see from one eye, I don't really let it affect me any more than it has to.  I don't get any kind of special treatment because of it, nor I would I ever expect anyone to treat me differently.

I don't want sympathy, I just wanted to share this story with you.
Hope you have a great day :)
<3 p="p">
*I don't remember wearing makeup in grade eight, nor do I have any idea why my mom would let me wear makeup at that age.  But that's the only reason I can think of for why I would have closed only one eye that morning. Unless I was winking at myself...
**And I'm not at all dramatic now!
***Well, as used as you can be to surgeries.
****I had just started high school, at a new school where I didn't know anyone. I disappeared for two weeks, then came back and had to wear sunglasses all the time. Way to make a good first impression...

Tata 2012

Remember that time that it was already September second and I have no idea where the summer went? Oh yea, that's right now.

I am actually completely shocked at how quickly the last four months went by.  They were so busy, so filled with camp, fun, friends, kids, laughs, sunburns, bug bites, salt water, and one of the best times of my life.  I cannot put into words how amazing this summer was for me.  Between the campers who's lives I tried to change, the co-counsellors who kept me sane, and everyone who changed my life... I think I'm in denial about this summer being for real over.  I keep thinking it's time to go back.  I fly back to St John's the day after tomorrow, and start school the next day and work at the pool the day after.  It just doesn't seem real.  I feel like I should be flying back to camp.  This is just a little break, a few days off to rest and relax.  This isn't the end.  It can't be.

I dedicate this post, and the next nine months of my life to: Nico, Curtis, K3, RJ, Aidan, Ronnie, and Sean; Jade, Julie, Zoe, Kathleen, Josianne, and Daphne; Karolan, Karlanne, Jenny, Janie, Sarah, Sarah-Jane, Jade and Kelly; Joe, LouLou, Oceanne, BiiBiie, Emma, Manu, Caro, and Van; Camille, Christina, Jessica, Kassandra, Biancka, Alison, Angelique, and Megane; Alicia, Alissa, Emma, Sara, Raven, Skylar, Gracie, and Tiffany; Captain, Pixie, Blink, Twix, Tigre, Swipe, and Teslin.

That is just a start to all the amazing people who have had a huge impact on my life this summer. I love you Tatamagouche. You'll forever hold a special place in my heart. <3>